Glacier

2011-12-30T00:36:00.000+08:00

graduate studies and how difficult it can be...

Graduate study in the sciences, however, is a very unsentimental education. It requires the intellectual evolution from undergrad who can ace tests of textbook knowledge to original thinker who can initiate and execute research about which the textbooks have yet to be written. What is less often acknowledged is that this intense education involves an equally arduous psychological transition, almost a second rebellious adolescence. The passage from callow, eager-to-please first-year student in awe of an often-famous faculty adviser to confident, independent-minded researcher willing to challenge, and sometimes defy, a mentor is a requisite part of the journey.

Staying in a different world for 1 week

2011-12-16T17:03:00.003+08:00

A return to camp after a long hiatus brings back many memories, some of which I have forgotten during the 2 years of university life. ICT feels entirely different from civilian life; its almost like time has returned back to my NSF days. When you are in camp, everyone has to do the same thing, regardless of what status you hold outside in the civilian world.

To me, its a good catch-up session with the rest of my buddies that tide me over the 2 years. The feeling of talk-conking, avoiding arrows, talking about 'mothers' jokes came back. We joked about the stupid things that we have done and made fun of each other again; we are back to operating our dear guns and getting tormented by the 'rush-to-wait, wait-to-rush' syndrome. We will avoid cookhouse food (which seems to be getting better) and try to get permission for canteen breaks.

We would talk about what is going on with each other's lives after two years. Some have started working, some have tried to start their own business. Everyone is trying to achieve success in different ways, be it legally or illegally. Yong sheng and Daniel wee, you guys will be sorely missed for your jokes and attempts to hype up the atmosphere.

All in all, I am glad that I am back to my old unit for ICT. NS may be a chore, it may be a waste of 2 years, but the experiences that you get from it is unique and priceless. See you guys next year then! For now, its back to civilian life!

love versus last

2011-12-11T19:32:00.001+08:00

quoted from a article from Edvantage

Love takes a "progression of time" as love takes time to cultivate, while lust "is almost instantaneous".

But what is most important, is to "love and embrace" who you are, and to realise that you are a person of great worth.

Otherwise, "everything else we do is for the pursuit of other people's affections"

How to not be a jerk.

2011-12-06T23:43:00.001+08:00

(credits from some facebook post)

【 A 】
她：「老公。帮我接杯水呗。」
他：「石头剪子布。谁输了谁去。」
她：「算了.. 我自己去吧..」

【 B 】
他们坐在一起看韩剧。她起身。
他：「干吗去？」
她：「去接杯水。」
他：「你坐这看吧。我去给你接。」

女人要求不高，她对男人唯一的要求就是「疼她」，
你可以什么都没有，只要你疼她，她就有足够的勇气把自己的下半辈子交给你..

【 A 】
他晚上下班。给她打电话，
他：「宝贝儿。我晚上和朋友出去吃饭。」
她：「你不是答应我陪我逛街的吗？」
他：「改天吧！」

她默默地流泪.. 为什么每次都是这样？

【 B 】
他下班的时候打电话给她:
他：「亲爱的，别人给我一张奥运会的票。巴西队啊！一会儿我去看球了啊。」
她：「哦。这样啊，好吧。」
他：「怎么不高兴了？」
她：「你忘了，上周说好今天我朋友和她男朋友请我俩吃饭啊。」

他：「哎呀，对不起亲爱的.. 我忘记了.. 那我把票给别人吧，我陪你去吃饭。」
她：「不要了，吃饭可以改天，或者你先去看，我们等你。」
他：「那不行，答应你的事情必须得做到。再说你自己跟他俩在一起像电灯泡似的，你肯定不舒服啊.. 」
她：「没事的..」

没等她说完，他很强势的告诉她，
他：「好了，听我的，你收拾一下，我一会儿去接你..」

其实女人不是不懂事，只是她需要碰上一个懂事的男人，
其实情侣之间是可以互相的..

【 A 】
他：「我晚上出去吃饭了啊。」
她：「几点回家？」
他：「九点之前肯定回家。」
九点半，
她：「你怎么还不回来啊？」
他：「十点，肯定回家。」

十一点，十二点，一点，两点..
后来，她不再打电话催他..
因为她知道，对于不守承诺的男人，一切「肯定」都是「未必」..

【 B 】
他：「我晚上出去吃饭。九点之前肯定结束。然后我俩去看电影。」
她：「你能那么快就结束吗？」
他：「放心吧。我答应你了就一定能！」
快到九点的时候。他：「收拾一下吧，我马上就到你家了！」

信任，
是在一件一件小事中建立起来的..

【 A 】
她生理期，身体不舒服。顶着疼痛洗衣服，收拾屋子。
他坐在电脑前面玩网络游戏..

她干完活，躺在床上，长出了一口气。
他看了她一眼：「宝贝儿，辛苦了！」
然后转过头，继续玩他的游戏..

【 B 】
她生理期，很难受，起身准备洗衣服。
他拽住她：「你去床上躺着，我来！」
她：「你会做家务吗？你自己洗过衣服吗？」
他：「不会做可以学着做啊，以后你身体不舒服的时候，我当然得独挡一面！」

女人需要的不只是甜言蜜语，哄她几句，她也许会给你一个微笑..
但是实实在在的呵护，她会对你一辈子的感恩，
并且会回报给你一个温暖的家..

【 A 】
她给他拿了一包榛子，然后她去洗衣服。
回来的时候，榛子已经被他吃得所剩无几。

【 B 】
她拿给他一包榛子，然后自己去收拾屋子。
回来的时候，她看见电脑前面放了一堆剥好的榛子仁。

女人很感性..
她炫耀你对她的体贴，就好像炫耀克拉钻一样。
这么廉价的买卖，用一点心思就能收获无比的财富..

【 A 】
他说：「你是最好的..」
她问：「我哪好？」
他：「学历高、能力强、长得漂亮、身材又好，对我又这么好..」
她笑了..

【 B 】
他：「你是我所遇到最好的女孩儿..」
她：「我哪好？」
他：「你对身边的每个人都很友善、很无私，对人对生活总是很感恩，一个人有一颗善良的心，会让周围的人感觉到温暖，你是我见过最善良的女孩儿，伤害你的人都应该下地狱..！」

她哭了..
一个人，是因为你对他好，所以觉得你好..
一个人，是因为懂得你的好，所以想要对你好..

幸福的爱人，
首先应该是一对彼此欣赏的知己..

A message to fish.. from your panda.

2011-12-04T03:07:00.003+08:00

I am finally able to look at your recent happenings without any feelings...I guessed it means that I have freed myself, just like what you said 9 months ago..

你，就是我的青春。那些在读书馆，MSN，或任何跟你在一起的日子，我都会永远放在美好回忆里。。本来想跟你亲自说，但我不想打扰你的快乐生活。我真心真意的祝你幸福，也谢谢你给我的回忆。。

2011-11-20T01:36:00.001+08:00

1 day!

雖然離開了你的時間
比一起還漫長
我們總能補償
因為中間空白的時光
如果還能分享
也是一種浪漫

(我最親愛的)

2011-11-19T01:38:00.002+08:00

2 days!

也許　每個人都該是某個人　成長的助手

(愛就對了)

2011-11-18T01:16:00.001+08:00

3 days to first paper!

我这句语气原来好像你

不就是我们爱过的证据

(可惜不是你)

2011-11-09T00:48:00.001+08:00

Complacency is the root of all downfalls.

Nothing but true efficiency and hardwork will create a miracle now.

2011-11-07T21:54:00.002+08:00

3 days of holidays were gone before you know it.

2 weeks later, finals await.

staying at home made me lazy and increased my sleeping hours to 10 hours. bad bad. must have at most 7 hours of sleep and 10 hours of studying time per day to ace my finals!

friday evening was spent at timbre, thinking of what to do during the holidays. seriously, is it so hard to find something in common? the pizza's good though.

saturday evening was spent lazing at home, watching terra nova. this dinosaur show is quite epic and interesting! liar game is another show that is draining my time -.- damn I must really know how to control myself. i cannot afford to lose track of time at this crucial moment.

list of movies to watch after exams:

1) you are the apple of my eye

2) tintin

3) michelle chong's movie

3 more weeks and everything will be over!!

2011-11-03T20:22:00.001+08:00

to a certain someone:

im not oblivious to your implied meaning in your facebook post. and i can assure you that your attempts of stirring shit may seem fun at first, but is getting irritating after several repeats.

need to post this somewhere before i really reply with this at facebook and let the situation explode or explode myself.

2011-10-28T19:19:00.003+08:00

(+) Learnt the rules for snooker and four ball. The game takes away the stress of examinations for a while, and instead replaces with the pressure of learning how to play the game with skill and accuracy. I am quite sure I wouldnt know what is a stun ball, or even know it existed, if I never go for today's training.

(-) Being an epic destroyer in the lab. The latest casualty in my collection of broken glasswares is a MSB tube. Especially since the tube is not borrowed under my name, I should have been more careful. Instead, I rushed through the washing without thinking, causing the tip to break. Indirectly I have implicated my lab partner to have a record in the lab technician's book :(

(deepavali) holiday mood

2011-10-26T18:57:00.009+08:00

(-) 1st time in my life to wake up just in time for dinner.

(-) rushing off instead of talking to others whom I never met for quite a while. what am I rushing for?

'我知道我们都沒有錯，只是放手会比较好过，最美的愛情回憶里待续',退後, (周杰倫)

2011-10-03T02:15:00.002+08:00

Note to self - Taking up more commitments must correspond to greater efficiency on self. The extra time needed to do the work should not come at the expense on family and loved ones.

2011-10-03T01:18:00.002+08:00

2 month old photo - Informal shot with the pageants~ even though I wouldnt be pageant material, its good enough to be taking a photo along side them :)

Birthday celebrations

2011-09-30T16:49:00.002+08:00

22nd isnt a good number to celebrate, as it marks the uphill and depreciation of value with age. OH WELLS IM young at heart ANW.

Its quite memorable to receive a watermelon as part of the birthday celebrations. Its also something to remember when your friends try to sing a birthday song to you but ended up extinguishing the candle of the cake ><

i'm just glad i wasnt forgotten.

2011-09-30T16:46:00.002+08:00

Its halfway through the semester, and I am still far far far behind what was taught >< Is it a wrong decision to have such high goals of myself?

Looking backward, and forward

2011-09-12T16:16:00.002+08:00

Its been some time since the last update, so here goes...

I realised much of my thinking process has changed since I entered university. Suddenly, money and a good-paying job seems to take precedence over interest and passion. The more research I do on the banking and finance sector, the more prestigious and the more potential it seems to have. On the other hand, lousy lecturers and poor prospects in general (source from seniors and the web) seems to be dimming my interest on the pure science of chemistry. I guess its inevitable that people's mindset will change over time with the input from the surroundings. For me, I am still undecided.

The past year has been a really good university experience for me. A list would probably do my summary better..

1) SPMS Club - I was really glad I made the choice to join the management committee as it provided me the chance to learn to work with people and made me realised that management is really a great science that must be learnt hands on. In a way the appointment also forces me to be more efficient in terms of time-planning, and provided me with the chance to organise a event from scratch and finally executing it. In the end I made the decision of leaving the club instead of re-running due to reasons that is not convenient to mention here, but I have no regrets of joining :)

2) Lifeguards - To spend time training three times a week, all this on top of the school workload is unimaginable before I joined LG. But to me, it was another good decision as I am able to work out my fats, enjoy swimming, and make friends at the same time.

3) Xing N Strum! - Yup even though I only performed twice in the whole year, still, the memories and experience gained was something that I would cherish. Singing in front of a crowd can be a stage-shy experience, but once you get over it, its really enjoyment :)

4) My veggie roomie!!! The one who spurred me on during examinations and IPPT. Though he probably wouldnt see this, he's a major contributor to how I can survive the last entire crazy year and still maintain good results.

5) I love my mum and dad, even though I probably wouldnt say it out.. They are the ones who will care for me, come to hall just to fetch me out for dinner, fuss over my meals and stuff that I need in hall. I am really thankful for the flexibility and freedom that they gave me, which gave me the opportunity to have this wonderful university experience.

6) Summer research - really good time spent to experience what its like to fail and plan in an experiment. Love the international exposure of my lab too! But Im probably moving to something more chemistry instead of biochemistry for this year.

Enough of reflection...its time to look forward to another new acad year!

- A fitter, slimmer Ding Jie - nah just kidding. But would be continuing in my lifeguard swimming regime so that I can have some sporty achievement that I can be proud of.

- Looking forward to more admin and organisation of events, but in ntu lifeguard instead.

- Research under URECA scheme. Hopefully it would answer my questions...

- Meeting more friends and forging close bonds with them!

- Last but not least, maintaining my results!

2011-07-20T21:16:00.000+08:00

It takes courage to move from a state of inertia, so as to be able control your own fate and destiny even though it may not be the better/popular choice.

The all-too-important but eluding spark..

2011-07-13T01:11:00.000+08:00

120711 - Passing of Bronze Medallion!

Good to know an useful skill in the water =)

120711 - Paper Presentation is over! Kinda intimidating that I have to present a paper to my lab group, but I feel that I have learnt a lot from the paper and from the 3 hour powerpoint chionging session.

2011-07-10T00:40:00.001+08:00

Get the priorities right - definitely not an easy thing to do.

Interesting quote: 'I value the friend who for me finds time on the calendar; But I cherish the friend who for me does not consult the calendar'

Relaxing sunday before all everything starts to pile up on me next week!

110711 - Would the promises for that day be remembered?

2011-06-15T11:58:00.001+08:00

Note to self: no point thinking of the 'what have been's and 'what if''s. its over.

Yr 1 Modules Review..

2011-06-14T23:33:00.002+08:00

Just my take on the mods I have taken before I forget about them...

CBC211 - Analytical Chemistry

Assessment: 40% CA, 60% Finals

- Buy the textbook and USE it. Lecture notes in general can only provide certain points that the lecturer wants to see. Textbook is needed if you want to know the reasons behind certain analytical instrumentation (in particular spectroscopy). Wiki is generally not useful for this course

- Do extremely well for the mid-terms, in view of the large weightage in the final grade. Finals may or may not be difficult, depending on lecturer

- Pay very close attention to the stuff the lecturer say, especially if it is not in the notes. Chances are, they will be tested in the finals

CBC113- Basic Organic Chemistry

Assessment: 20% Lab Reports, 20% CA, 60% Finals

- Understand, memorise, and APPLY the mechanisms you see. No point memorising when you cant apply it to new situations.

- Textbook will also be useful since content is directly taken from it

- Heavy heavy content, thus its better to start revision early for this module

- Lab reports are vital to get the A grade - Dont underestimate the 20%! Usage of senior's report as a template is encouraged, but its much better if you can add in observations that occurred during your experiment and apply the theory to explain. Never ever blindly copy lab reports

CBC121 - Biological Chemistry 1

Assessment: 40% CA, 60% Finals

- Wikipedia will be useful, especially when seeing points that you do not understand. Anything that is included in the lecture notes will be tested, irregardless of the emphasis that the lecturer make

- Slight advantage for those who have JC Biology background

- Understanding the structure/function/chemistry of the molecules is extremely important. Finals tend to be difficult

CBC122 - Biological Chemistry 2

Assessment: 40% CA, 60% Finals

- Crap module in my opinion, but again, advantage to those who biology background

- If its still taught by the same lecturer, you will definitely need the textbook to know the examples that are not listed on the lecture notes, but yet still tested

CBC811 - Forensic Science

Assessment: 20% MCQ CA, 80% Finals

- Interesting and Insightful course. Be wary though - its not an easy module as everyone has claimed. You will need to work hard to score

- Memorise the examples. Kinda stupid to memorise someone's name for some unique kind of murder, but still..

- Keep up on E-lectures since they will be tested

BS107 - Principles of Genetics

Assessment for Non-Bio Majors - 100% MMCQ (Multiple Multiple-Choice Questions) Finals

- H2 Biology pre-requisite is essential and VITAL here

- Borrow the textbook to understand certain content since lecture notes are disorganised and friendly to understand

- Wikipedia wouldnt be useful. Certain content are relatively new, and you may have to read academic papers to fully understand. Exams are relatively straight-forward though

- Beware of the tricky format for exams

2011-06-08T17:00:00.001+08:00

Your story may not have such a happy beginning; but that doesnt determine who you are. It is the rest of the story, who you choose to be.

KP2.

What it takes to be a biochemist

2011-06-07T11:32:00.000+08:00

1) To be comfortable with having your lunch hours dictated by the growth of your bacteria/centrifuging of your solution/adding the right ingredient at the right time to prevent excess/minimal growth and ensure OPTIMAL growth/purification of your bacteria/protein. In short, lots of experimental steps to proceed, any delay will screw up your progress. Im having takeaway. again.

2) Dealing with an infinite amount of buffer solutions/reagents/gels that are kept in as many places. Oh, some buffers can be made by ourselves and they have different recipes as well. Dealing with microbes (bacteria and other microorganisms) also imply that you will have to wash your hands thoroughly with a special handwash everytime you exit the laboratory. Overclean hands anyone?

3) First question posed to me at research -Do you know how to use a micropipette? Stunned face. Back to basics, or rather thrown back to basics. Lots of syringe-handling, tubes handling. In a nutshell, nimble hands. You must also have the strength to open up a tightly-screwed lid of a centrifuge.

4) Fascinating theory does not equate to fascinating labwork. Quite the contrary in fact. One example - cloning may sound pretty simple, as in all the theory textbooks, it can be summarised to one flow chart. Judging from the comments that I have heard from my friend when she have to add reagents to 45 petri dishes, she must really have enjoyed herself.

Dont get me wrong. I am not putting down research work. But here are some things that people should be able to accept when dealing with microorganisms, or research work in general. There are aspects of research work that I like, which will be updated on my next post.

2011-06-05T15:49:00.003+08:00

I would always turn to this space whenever I am feeling emotional.

Today's no exception. A day of self-reflection over the last few months. Have I changed? I think not. Do I know what needs to be changed? Perhaps.

But. life has to go on.

2011-05-23T23:34:00.000+08:00

Leona Lewis - Better in time

thought i couldnt live without you
its gonna hurt when it heals too
oh yeah it'll all get better in time
even though i really loved you
im gonna smile cuz i deserve too
it'll all get better in time

2011-05-20T20:54:00.002+08:00

Liberation is sweet. So glad that my plan to take 21AUs this semester didnt backfire on me.

Hopefully June 9th wouldnt be a sad day.

More things to look forward to in the holidays!

2011-04-30T22:01:00.002+08:00

EPIC Brain-cum-Body workout day.

Started this morning with a 7.30am IPPT session. Brimming with enthusiasm to achieve the ultimate GOLD award, me and my roomie attempted certain stations multiple times to achieve the required result. Its not to be for me though, when I did 34 sit-ups only -.-, far from the 39 required for gold.

I changed my target to getting Silver after that, as I know its impossible to attempt situps for the 2nd time and achieve better results. The most surprising 'scare' of the day happens when I failed to achieve the Silver timing for shuttle run - a station arguably touted as the easiest and requires little or no training. But luckily after 3 attempts at shuttle run and 5 attempts at broad jump, I barely scrape the cut-off and secure the Silver result. The last station is the grilling 2.4km run, which can be made very slack as the cut-off timing is 11.40min, which is in my opinion, a long time. However, I wanted to put my fitness to the test, thus I tried to stride and go as fast as I can in the hope of achieving the gold timing, 9 minutes 44 seconds. In the end the timing I have gotten is 10 seconds off the mark, and I am reasonably happy with that considering the timing for my first attempt is 1 minute off. Left the camp feeling 100 dollars richer.

The afternoon SHG session was a test at my elementary mathematics. I was really surprised that I couldnt solve the first question that Brian asked me, despite using algebraic techniques that primary school children arent supposed to know yet. Luckily I have a mathematics major who pointed out the not-so-obvious fact in the question *phew. The difficulty in the other problems lie in the explanation part to him, since I could not use algebra to explain, the only way left is the tedious method of drawing boxes and labelling all the diagrams with lines and crosses to get through the point. He's pretty smart, but he's extremely lazy..and the latter can really get me fed up when he just refused to think for a simple question. Patience Patience**

Its time to take a 2 weeks break from all my commitments and focus totally on my examinations.

tired.

2011-04-07T02:36:00.003+08:00

A tiring day.

Studied till this time to prepare for a test.

Sang till 1.30am to prepare for hall cultural night

Swam till 1030pm to prepare my body for lifeguard training

Have to thank my roomie who supported me through this crazy week of presentations, tests and performance.

treasure the people that stood resolutely by your side and live each day like its your last day.

2011-03-28T00:26:00.002+08:00

Just because you are still alive, it doesnt mean that you have truly live.

2011-03-25T19:02:00.000+08:00

General provisions:

A – Whereas the saying “all is fair in love and war” is absolutely correct;

B – Whereas for war we have the Geneva Convention, approved on 22 August 1864, which provides for those wounded in the battle field, but until now no convention has been signed concerning those wounded in love, who are far greater in number;

It is hereby decreed that:

Article 1 – All lovers, of any sex, are alerted that love, besides being a blessing, is also something extremely dangerous, unpredictable and capable of causing serious damage. Consequently, anyone planning to love should be aware that they are exposing their body and soul to various types of wounds, and that they shall not be able to blame their partner at any moment, since the risk is the same for both.

Article 2 – Once struck by a stray arrow fired from Cupid’s bow, they should immediately ask the archer to shoot the same arrow in the opposite direction, so as not to be afflicted by the wound known as “unrequited love”. Should Cupid refuse to perform such a gesture, the Convention now being promulgated demands that the wounded partner remove the arrow from his/her heart and throw it in the garbage. In order to guarantee this, those concerned should avoid telephone calls, messages over the Internet, sending flowers that are always returned, or each and every means of seduction, since these may yield results in the short run but always end up wrong after a while. The Convention decrees that the wounded person should immediately seek the company of other people and try to control the obsessive thought: “this person is worth fighting for”.

Article 3 – If the wound is caused by third parties, in other words if the loved one has become interested in someone not in the script previously drafted, vengeance is expressly forbidden. In this case, it is allowed to use tears until the eyes dry up, to punch walls or pillows, to insult the ex-partner in conversations with friends, to allege his/her complete lack of taste, but without offending their honor. The Convention determines that the rule contained in Article 2 be applied: seek the company of other persons, preferably in places different from those frequented by the other party.

Article 4 – In the case of light wounds, herein classified as small treacheries, fulminating passions that are short-lived, passing sexual disinterest, the medicine called Pardon should be applied generously and quickly. Once this medicine has been applied, one should never reconsider one’s decision, not even once, and the theme must be completely forgotten and never used as an argument in a fight or in a moment of hatred.

Article 5 – In all definitive wounds, also known as “breaking up”, the only medicine capable of having an effect is called Time. It is no use seeking consolation from fortune-tellers (who always say that the lost lover will return), romantic books (which always have a happy ending), soap-operas on the television or other such things. One should suffer intensely, completely avoiding drugs, tranquilizers and praying to saints. Alcohol is only tolerated if kept to a maximum of two glasses of wine a day.

Final determination:
Those wounded in love, unlike those wounded in armed conflict, are neither victims nor torturers. They chose something that is part of life, and so they have to accept both the agony and the ecstasy of their choice.
And those who have never been wounded in love will never be able to say: “I have lived”. Because they haven’t.

thats the only thing that I am thankful for.

Conclusion - 8 months and 8 days...and the 3 years before that.

2011-03-22T17:00:00.004+08:00

You said you wouldnt give any time extensions for the relationship as you have already gave yourself time, but have you given me any time to make amends?

You said you want to be good friends as you have no more feelings for me, but have you considered what will be my feelings for that?

You have always spare a thought for others, but I can tell you this - relationship is definitely not one of them.

The truth is - everyone's gonna hurt you but you've just got to find the ones worth suffering for.

Only through passing time, then you can find out what you truly want and if I'm the person for you..

2011-02-22T00:00:00.002+08:00

its uphill from now on...

2010-11-27T01:46:00.003+08:00

My wonderful roomie always inspire me to do physical training whenever both of us are in hall and saturated of all the reactionmechanism and product stereochemistry.

The Challenge for this week - a 5km run around the whole of NTU. I was quite intimidated by the distance at first, considering I havent been running any further than 3km, but after the run, all I can say is that the distance is nothing compared to the treacherous uphills that NTU have.

One particular uphill was around the distance of at least 500 metres. As I paddled my lactic-saturated legs on, my mind was clear with resolve - to reach the top while keeping constant pace. It was long, it was definitely hard, but with my roomie right in front of me, pushing with all his might to conquer the slope, I pushed on and reached the top shortly after him. Now, this isnt the typical story that have the main character engaging in all sorts of trials and finally have the achievement and THE END. It is the end of the upslope, but this brings me to the next point, which are the thoughts I had during the run.

My first thought were about exams, and how this upslope really represents the period that all of the NTU students are facing now, with all the late night muggings, unlimited textbook practices etc. Any moment of rest will be filled with guilt, and thats a really suckish feeling. But with constant effort throughout this period, just like running upslope, I believe it is possible to pull through with a decent grade.

My second thought were about you, and I realised I have been taking every single little gritty thing to heart, aka too sensitive. Im sure I would feel a lot better if I can expand my mind and accept that not everything will go to plan everytime. There will be so much that we can ht about when we meet next time=)

My third thought were about my major in university, and wondering how I am going to cope with my major in the advance years when I already feel so bewildered in chemistry in my first year. My resolution - to look at things in the right attitude and push on! I am sure what I have learnt, not only content-wise, but also my work etiquette and attitude, will take me somewhere in the future.

Lets be optimistic and let it be the fuel to push on for these two weeks=) Let my actions speak for themselves on my result sheet =D

Pride...

2010-11-25T01:16:00.003+08:00

Pride is really the answer to why I am keeping the silence.

Assumption is the habit that self-initiates whenever some thing hits me.

I have such low-assurance of your faith in me that whenever something happens, I will just presume its because of your faith in me. But pride keeps me from questioning further.

Shouldnt trials like exams be something to test a relationship? Why does it separates us instead?

I will just go to sleep knowing this wouldnt be answered, probably not anytime soon.

2010-11-14T01:37:00.002+08:00

I was on the way back home by foot from yuhua area when I had this thoughts in my mind, which is the topic for this post. Perhaps its better to keep it somewhere in the bytes of the internet than having it circulating my sub-consciousness.

I know my planning could have been done better regarding the attire and the time to meet, so as to prevent causing inconvenience to you.
I also aware that you have a bad day, and probably due to the housing development plans.

I really tried to make it up in any ways I could during the entire meeting, be it initiating conversations and topics that are so random that I can hardly believe I am talking about them.

But the response was cold. Just stone-cold. I am just wondering - do I deserve this treatment, given that I am at fault at the start of the meeting?

I couldnt possibly tell you this, especially since you have exams and everything coming up. But that doesnt mean I can swallow it easily.

Let tomorrow be a better day..

Zara - Gayest OG!

2010-09-05T00:48:00.006+08:00

Group Zara~

Hall camp wasnt as epic as I thought it would be, but there are still memorable things that I would remember from the camp,

1) Having to learn two minutes worth of dance steps based on a youtube video (bad romance!)

2) Having to perform CPR on another guy -.-

3) Having to hear the three word reply from the seniors who watched our performance. 'I only have three words for you guys. Three words! - What the f^&k?'

4) Spreading ketchup on the stomach while singing 'tong hua'to another guy -.-

First week of Hall life. It is liberating to live in a environment that allows me to be fully independent from parent's interference once again. The feeling of taking care of my own room, washing my own clothes (which I havent done yet =x), and having late nights gaming session, to me, is just plain awesome. I would make sure it doesnt affect my studies though =x

Sometimes, I really have doubts. But I would just cast it off for now. Afterall we have just started out... As my friend said, 'its all about giving 100% in things that you can give 100% in without expecting anything in return. Only through giving your best, then you can learn from your mistakes.' Wise words, Janson.

small note..

2010-08-16T00:32:00.003+08:00

2nd time im going camp, this time its hall camp. And i still got my rws and korea trip to blog about. But I really aint that busy as what you might think.

I feel like I am having an emotional roller coaster everyday, but yet...... well. I guess not every effort will be returned the same way as I would expect it to be. Expectations are really a damning thing. Better to just be happy in the state that I am in now.

Stars & Planets - SIRIUS!

2010-07-27T23:42:00.009+08:00

Happening Happening week =)

SPMS FOC Day 1:

Pre-camp and facebook helped me to remember all the 22 (+2 fake freshies) names, so it was a lot easier to call people or to play games. My OG group is called Sirius, and by wikipedia definition, it is the brightest star in the universe, henceforth our trademark slogan - Hottest, Strongest, Brightest! We were given our identity - a red band that has our names on it.

The seniors have a lot of games to introduce to us freshies, like ji niu nang, concentration, qin ni gen wo zhe yang zuo. First day mainly consisted of ice-breaker games, but the games doesnt suggest ice-breaking. In fact most of the games involve some flexibility and hopping around, and yours truly have to do a yoga stance for a good 5 minutes by planting both my butt and my nose on one of the game grids.

Game 1: 5 row x 5 column grid, and freshies have to put a certain amount of body parts onto a certain grid according to what our ogls drew (which later became a deliberate attempt to tekan us, for e.g, 5 noses -.-)

Game 2: Mu tou ren - retarded game in my opinion. 4-5 person hiding behind a piece of cardboard and try to move to destination when the programmer is not looking. Most people just ended up banging onto the programmer during the final sprint.

Game 3: Girls and guys have to be paired up according to height, and their legs are binded together by a piece of string. Have to either hop or walk over to a point 20 metres away to get a card and come back.

Game 4: Guess the sketch n Guess the song (humming)

Game 5: Remember the name of the people in the other og - another retarded game. It already hard enough to remember the 24 people in my group, and I have to add another 20 more? 1 freshie from each group will be chosen to seat behind a cloth, facing each other. With the cloth removed, they have to guess the names for each other. Balloons are popped if any of the party forgets the name.

Game 6: Memory game that involve colour and number. Each person will remember the

position, the number and the colour of a grid. The entire og will then move pass the grids according to the sequence.

I had my first taste of the mrt game during dinner time. Its reallly no merccyyyy oneeeee, since all hell-break loose when your own station is called. My thighs left the game feeling bruised and hot -.-

Evening Activity is Cluedo. Honestly-speaking I dun like this kind of use brain stuff especially in camp. Unsurprisingly, my og group fabricated a story that is completely unrelated to the 'true' story.

Last activity was SP interaction. For those who don't know what's that, SP means secret pal. We were all blind folded and paired up a SP from another og that we cant see or recognise. During the interaction, the ogls and programmers did many stupid pranks to me and my sp, like making us do square dance, sing, hold hands etc etc. The seniors changed their voice to the ah gua mode in an attempt to stop us from recognising the voice, but I probably wouldn't have recognised them anyway as they are from my sp's og. But still I must say its quite an interesting experience to converse with someone you have never met before blind-folded.

FOC Day 2:

Dirty Games day! Went to Ntu in the morning via coach and what lies ahead for us was an muddy field that looks like it had been sprayed with water before we came. Naturally our spirits werent high to begin with, but after some cheers and competition with other ogs, our morale increased considerably.

Game 1: A relay involving spinning around a stick, holding a bowl of water on the head, biting on a spoon while maneuvering through a slippery mat, blowing the ping-pong ball from one cup to the other, and lastly blowing white flour to uncover white mentos.

Game 2: Hamburger - Its the dirtiest game I have played throughout the whole foc. First we have to leopard crawl a mat that is filled with mud water, before taupoking on each other to form a 'burger'. Being the bottom or the 2nd bottom person is the worst as they get the most weight and mud. Through this game I can tell who are the sporting kind, and who are those who will only stand aside and watch their teammates crawl through the mud over and over again.

Game 3: Caterpillar. We didnt finished the game as my og mate saw a centipede on the grass near her and freaked out. Cant blame her actually. We were too tired to complete the game.

Game 4: Painter. The guys were given a sheet that has pieces of toilet paper on it that has to be tied around the waist. Objective for the opposing team of girls is to 'paint' those toilet paper with water bombs. A lot of running were involved in this game to avoid being painted.

The weather turned bad in the afternoon and so we had lunch under the shelter of the bus-stop. We played ji ren ji ren zhan qi lai, tuo tuo tuo! Luckily Im not the victim that has to strip =D After that we went for a long twenty minute walk across campus to RAC to take a shower, before making our way back to chalet.

Night programme was Fright night. We were dispatched into the 'haunted' mansion in groups of 4. It was rather entertaining actually, despite the programmer's best attempts at scaring us. I think its largely because its rather predictable, like how the girl will definitely raise her head to scare us while I combed her head. Still, we were quite 'respectful' and didnt laugh at the 'ghosts'. I think my shirt size increased a little due to the constant tugging by Constance though =p

FOC Day 3:

Morning games were SP Induction games. Its a set of 4 games to meet 4 different person from other ogs and play games together.

Game 1: Blow-the-balloon, shave the cream off game.

Game 2: Contact game. The couples have to bring a card across the room using the body parts indicated. The worst is probably the lips to cheek card.

Game 3: Love is blind game. The guy is blind-folded and brought through obstacles like bench, poles by the girl.

Game 4: Tic-tag-toe. erm ya.

Afternoon was SP Pick-up day. The guys werent informed of anything except to wear their smart-casual wear and bring their gift. We didnt have a clue of what will be happening until one of our ogls told us this - 'Just do what the other ogls instruct you to do'. Armed with our gift and brotherly spirit, we set off to the 'girl's' bungalow as if we were about to fetch our bride. Over there, the ogls told us to find 10 grass, 3 leaves and 1 flower. The flower was the tricky bit as its on top of a tree! The one that I had wasnt exactly fully bloomed yet, but with some fingerwork, kit managed to meet it look nice =D And well, the stuff I have to do inside...best to keep it inside the room huh. Basically I have to make a fool of myself to amuse a bunch a girls, one of which is my sp. After that the guys will somehow have to bring their sp from changi to dhoby ghaut. There was this sp night event held there and basically those pretty/handsome/strong/can dance people will go up the stage to do all sorts of stuff. The event became like prom towards the end.

FOC Day 4: Amazing Race.

Its amazing that the amazing race could deplete twenty bucks from my ez-link card just in one day. I hate stations that are just placed there so as to waste time, like going to Ang Mo Kio just to calculate the sum of all the bus numbers. Certain stations were fun though, one of which was playing video games and the other was 100 sec no NG sequence event. Kaideng taught us the 'ah lian, ah beng, chao ah gua song/dance' and had it videoed down the amuse the programmers. The ending point was at sentosa, at one of the smaller islands that require us to cross a swinging bridge. We sang the banana song, captured the right flag, and it was the end of an super tiring day! My og did an audition for the best cross-dressed award and I must say I am no where good enough for it =x

FOC Day 5:

So what do we do in sentosa? Of course Beach Games! I particularly like the station that pit us to another team and force us to do certain poses depending on what number we got in the shortest time possible. (but I think the number don't matter actually). The programmer was super high and rar rar. We learnt some kind of 10 step line dance, which is quite screwed up. We had our og night and I thought the camp was over then. But I didnt expect there to be initiation. -.- We had water bombs thrown at us, flour smeared onto our faces and many other yucky stuff. We had to dance to the music (while blind-folded) and had water bombs thrown at us if we didnt dance enough or dunno the lyrics. We had to slide down a muddy slope. But we had fun, thats for sure. The seniors even hand-feed us potato chips in between the games. Everyone slept less than 1 hour for that night, but when the foc chairman announced my og as the best og, we were all hyped up like madmen and madwomen. ^^

Im lucky and glad to be in a og that is full of high people and nice seniors =)

2010-07-19T00:16:00.002+08:00

Its been a very long week for me. But memorable one. 110710. I will remember this date. =)

Off to my 5 day orientation camp lo! Be back on the 24th! Fresh start to university life =D

2010-07-06T00:43:00.002+08:00

I am guilty of spending lots of money for this weekend. >.<

Saturday

Conducted my first ever activity for jurong shg. It was quite a flop since I couldn't get the resources and think of more fun/illustrative ways to interest the kids with instruments. I think the 'fun' and 'interaction' elements are as important as the stuff that I want the kids to learn. If the kids aint interested, why would they give a damn to what they learn? Its nevertheless an experience and lesson to be learnt.

An innocent attempt to introduce fish to drinking turns out to be rather unforgetable.. at least for me.

2010-07-03T00:59:00.002+08:00

2nd day of unemployment. With drizzles hitting all the areas that I have been today, it hindered my travelling plans but I managed to complete my objectives for the day.

First stop - Medical check-up @ NTU. Me and my friend was wondering why there were so many girls but yet so few guys in the medical centre until I realised the guys that came out of NS had already went for their checkup in may. Anyway the check-up is crap - how can any medical checkup not have blood test? Somehow chest x-ray was alot easier for the guys den the girls lol, who had to wear a disposable gown. (and it looked rather funny)

A walk to my future faculty make me feel that the new building seems like a new but deserted hospital. Guess its probably because of the holidays. The air-con was good too - I would probably need to buy a jacket soon.

The search for the student affairs centre had also bring forth a fact which I already knew - that Ntu has loads of slopes and stairs. Just to reach a building that looks like its beside the building I am at in the map requires me to climb up around eight flights of stairs. Incidentally the search had found us a rather nice cafe which is suitable for chilling out.

My second stop was my secondary school. It had been probably at least 3 years since I had set foot into the school compound. The feeling of seeing the buildings and the people were so nostalgic. The wall of tiles that my batch of students has created is still there. The dark corner that my choir practiced in is being put to better use now. The piano in the hall is still there! Its the place that has inspired to learn playing songs from the piano by myself. Mannn I would rather have that slight off-key piano than the keyboard in my house anytime. The principal is still the same - in fact she actually called me, just that its not because she recognised me but because I am stepping on the newly mopped floor -.- Turns out the school was preparing for the annual big event, commendation day.

Initially I didn't wanted to call on the teachers as I thought they might have forgotten me since it has been 5 years since I have graduated. But it was raining rather heavily for me to leave the school compound and just when I was hesitating to enter the staff room, one teacher came out and left the door to the staff room open - it couldn't have been a better opportunity. I was so glad to see my lower secondary school form teacher in the staff room, and it was even more so when he recognised me. Seems like its his last year at new town! good for him. We took a walk to the hall when another familiar figure emerged - my sec 4 form teacher and current HOD of science. Aint I lucky? He has forgotten my name though. Found out the changes to the teachers since I graduated from school, and I was rather surprised when I realised he's not married yet. He seems like such a capable teacher in which I would want to emulate - just not the mood swings, which is another one of his trademark.

I left the school feeling that I have spend the day well =)

Last day @ SIM

2010-07-01T01:34:00.002+08:00

3 months went past in a flash...

I really didnt thought the perm staff would have gifts for all the departing temp staff. Im really lucky to be working under michael, who is a programme officer that does his things methodically and always work hard to be far ahead of the schedule (and of cuz pulling me along with him haha). Not to mention roslyn who looks after our welfare and always giving us free food to eat during office hours. I wld definitely miss this own-time-own-target working style, though I wouldn't miss the filing and photocopying and other what nots. Being a temp really have its benefits of just having fun, not having to worry about office politics and other nonsense.

officially unemployed now. I WANT to get a job, just that i dun wanna do admin again =p

im confused. its really very hard to see what you take me for.

2010-06-21T19:02:00.002+08:00

I can only just watch you from afar...

I need to be far more capable if I can be ever good enough. for you.

Oh man. I feel the falling sick symptoms all over again - coldness, sore throat, running nose and discomfort. I need to plan for my upcoming two months!!!

2010-06-15T02:11:00.003+08:00

3 years and 7 months after his tragic accident, my brother passed away peacefully at home at about 12.05am. It was a long journey since that time, with routine hospital visits, repeated bouts of lung infection-caused fevers, physiotherapy that failed and many many other small incidents happening within this long span of time. His departure reminded me that I have to channel all my energies into taking better care of our parents in his absence from now on, especially in the following critical days.

I have to make up for what I didnt do in the last three years.

SHG June Camp

2010-06-06T15:45:00.005+08:00

Group Hermes~

There are startling differences between being a facilitator and a participant for camps like this. The roles of the faciliator are much tougher, especially if you are facing a pack of unmotivated, mischievious and problematic devil kids who do things that are beyond your imagination. It is really up to the facilitator's responsibility and enthusiasm to inspire and motivate this devils into angelic kids that will enjoy the activities they participate in.

A bigger problem lies in one person - myself for the lack of confidence and experience. Some of the kids there probably have even more experience than me in the conduct of such camps, as many of them has came for previous years' june camp. There were many improvements that I could make to myself to make the bonding of the group stronger, irregardless of whether there were problematic kids or not. Though all's not bad - I really do enjoyed the moments of conversation that I had with each and every kid in my group when I open myself out to them, as well as knowing volunteers from other centres. All it takes is that bit of communication is to create the level of trust and understanding.

List of things lousy drivers do:
Cut into other people's lane at the last minute, just right before the traffic light. End up occupying two lanes >> KAYU to the maximum (Checked)
Reverse parking at a snail's pace, causing jam at the carpark. (Checked)
Wasnt accurate with reversing, ended up shifting forward at least one time. (Checked)

Yay officially one year old lousy driver. =D

Weekend!

2010-05-16T21:40:00.003+08:00

Sunday night, and Im glad to say I have spent a good weekend =), with a rather minor side effect of $$$$ spent. Luckily its not toxic enough for my bank account, plus I have a small (really really small) stable monetary regenerative system for now.

Friday evening. It has been quite a while since I last met my jc classmates together, so I called them out for dinner. It was very last minute as the final details of meeting place and time were only ironed out ONE hour before we met. Dinner was Swensens - not a favourite of mine, but I cant think of anything better. I ordered the black pepper seafood pasta - it was rather salty in flavour and i am so glad the portion wasnt big. We talked from manjong (no way I want to get pwned in mj that is played with huge stakes!) all the way to driving license (haha someone havent even passed ftt yet).

Saturday morning to noon. I went to a uni's open house that provide talks for prospective students. Turns out to be a good decision, as I have hoped. If I didn't ask the professor about appeals, I would not have known that I wouldn't have a chance if I just submit my appeal alone. Then again, its still a rather small chance - which I will willingly take for the sake of my interest and future. I have never had to appeal for anything in my life, but that doesnt mean I will stand by and regret for life.

LS's presentation wasnt impressive to me, despite the professor's best attempts to promote the course's benefits as not only 1) broad-based in terms of material, 2) have high quality teaching & research staff (I really dun think it is enough for the huge amount of people taking LS), 3) promotes thinking skills and stuff like that. I kinda feel a degree in sci will just limit specialised jobs to a narrow scope, which is already very competitive.

Evening. NTS flykite session cum michelle's impromptu birthday celebration. Walking from AYE to west coast park, with a sheng siong trip in between, taught me to better plan my transport route and coordinate plans with organisers before action. My kite didn't flew very high because it began its slow ascend to the ground =( We must be so deprived of high school, cuz we played polar bear and murderer during the evening, BUT it was rather fun and entertaining, especially because of all the lies and confusion that played out during the game. Credits to Pz to ML. I realised I will say less things if I am lying, so I am really not a good liar. Its really good to catch up with old friends and know each of the different paths they have taken so far.

Sunday. Klunch with mm. My bad for choosing such a early slot in town. I really need more vocabulary of songs + more practice ! We were not in very good form, but it gradually become better as the singing goes on. After that, I had a zombie that followed me during the walk in 313. We went to watch Ip man 2 - It was exciting, thrilling, albeit abit bloody, but overall a very good action movie. I was quite disturbed by the repeated head-punching scene though.

2010-05-14T00:45:00.003+08:00

I realised I have a strange habit of comparing the passport size photo that the applicants send to the photo on their identification cards. Kinda interesting how some changed for the better, some not so good.

Its a rather nerve-racking month, with my deadline set at 26th May. Here im questioning my life, wondering what I have done, what interests I have and stuff like that. oh well. Random doodles at 1am.

2010-05-12T00:58:00.002+08:00

I have just sent an email to my former teacher requesting help. I wonder, though, if pure passion is enough to support my cause. Life doesnt always work like that, and I hope I wouldn't be another person among millions to be consumed by reality.

2010-05-10T21:10:00.003+08:00

I have officially started my eat-gym gain ~~fat~~ weight campaign! Granted, the gym is always filled with those gia-normous people who either have 1) extremely good genes (think big boned) or 2) put in loads of hard work to achieve their body build, and its my wish to be one of the 2nd category of people. This Wouldn't be another san fen zhong ri du thing (I hope). I just came back from gym, and im totally beat and full from the training and eating -.-

Today, there's this huge guy in the gym who probably have more fats than muscles doing bench press. He didn't really attract my attention until he start loading plates and More plates to the barbell, adding up to around 60kg on each side (so its 60 x 2 + 10kg for the bar itself). The average build-up person I have seen is doing qweights of around 20kg on each side >.< It was like a performance; everyone who was doing their own thing suddenly shifted their attention to this guy. There was a heave, and the bar was lifted, abeit with much trembling. I dunno what everyone was expecting, but on my part, I really wished the barbell can be put safety back to where its belonged before it crushed the guy or something -.- Finally, the guy gave a huge heave and lifted his 8th repetition, after which he brought down the barbell to the resting spot with an almighty crush - a huge resounding sound made between metal and lots of metal. Phew.

Someone is going taiwan with her bf during her birthday wor! Better buy back loads of cup noodles for me!

2010-05-09T21:01:00.002+08:00

The theme for this month's reading materials - drugs. Normally, for books that I borrowed from library, I would either 1) like them very much and would try my very best to finish them OR 2) just put them aside to collect dust. This particular book that I am gonna talk about got me hooked from the start and its interesting enough for me to read during the half an hour bus rides commuting in between home and work. The title is 'The demon under the Microscope', and its a 'Science/History' theme book.

When we talk about antibiotics, we would normally attribute its discovery to one guy - Alexander Fleming, who is the person to discover Pencillin. It is touted as the first chemical that is shown to have ability to disrupt bacteria growth and activity - thus being named an antibiotic. Therefore, I was quite surprised when the book declares Sulfa (sulfonamide) as the first wonder chemical that is able to cure infectious diseases caused by bacteria. What's more, the guy that synthesized it was also another unknown named Gerhard Domagk.

By definition, pencillin and sulfa-related chemicals are very different. Pencillin is produced by a fungus, while sulfa are synthetic chemicals that are synthesized in labs. Both, however, destroys a selected group of bacteria without significantly affecting the body in a negative way (though the mechanism is entirely different).

Technically speaking, Pencillin and its anti-bacteria activity is discovered earlier than sulfa, back in 1929 by Alexander Felming. However, he was unable to purify and isolate the chemical during that time. Its only 10 years later, another pair scientists finally discovered how to isolate pencillin and produced it in bulk for use as an antibiotic. Sulfa, though synthesized later in 1935, was discovered to have anti-bacteria activity as well, and was the first chemical to be used on humans that is shown to be able to fight off certain bacteria-caused diseases that is prevalent in the past -Childbed fever, meningitis and any wound infection caused by a family of bacteria called streptopoccus.

Sixty years back, you and I could probably die from a simple throat infection that is caused by bacteria - the moment the swelling burst and bacteria is released into the blood, doctors (known as physicians then) could probably do nothing but offer scant consolation to the patient and family. With the advent of Sulfa, researchers have renewed the hope that chemicals are able to fight off infections and diseases, thus stepped up research and changed the way drug discovery was made. Research into pencillin probably gained interest again because of the success of sulfa, and from the discovery of pencillin, more and more effective antibiotics were found and this enabled humans to live in a new era, one that is unconcerned by infections which once caused many more deaths compared to present time.

I have always have some interest in infectious diseases and microbiology, so this particular book attracted me. More importantly, this book highlighted how difficult and tedious scientific research can be. One must believe his own hypothesis -in Domagk's case, he believed that a chemical cure can be found to curing infections caused by bacteria. Along the way of discovery, many other scientists has discovered certain concepts that is relevant to his research, and he has the foresight to utilised them to find what he is looking for.

2010-05-06T23:43:00.004+08:00

Work.

The last week of work was an extremely tiring experience due to the overwhelming amount of administrative task that is to be completed before the dateline set by the manager. All the temp workers have to first prepare insurance for all the students in the programme before standing in front of the photocopying machine for the whole day to wait for the student contract to be churned out, each contract having 30 pages, 2 copies of contract per student, and this is done for three to four hundred students per programme, so you can just imagine how long it took and how ionised we felt by the end of the day. The last part was mainly spent on preparing the offer letter by compiling various documents together. The problem though, was in the compilation as each document is created by different systems, which resulted in the order of the documents being different from each system, thus finding the same student name from all the different documents can be equivalent to solving a puzzle. After suffering from many paper cuts and working overtime for three whole days till 11pm, we finally managed to send out the offer letters to the students =D

The last paragraph was rather long, but it somehow summarises what I have been doing for the last week. Its the first time I really feel that I am killing the earth, as in the process of printing, many boxes of papers were used up, and worst still, there were often mistakes in the printing that have to result in the whole bulk of freshly-printed documents of new paper to be shredded. There was a feeling of immense guilt as I stuff those papers into the shredder. Now I can understand why there is a need to protect our earth by saving paper - these resources are wasted too easily in the corporate/office environment, where so many documents are generated each day.

At the present moment, there is currently an audit check by goodness-knows-who. It is sure causing a large amount of panic and anxiety to the perm staff, from the executives to the managers. One of them remarked, 'even i take botox injections, my face will still sag due to the stress'. Even my manager who i rarely talked to came up to me and asked, 'what would you say you are doing if the auditors asked?'. friday's the last day of audit, and hopefully things will continue as normal next week. Enough about work.....

If I can list two faults of myself, it would be the fault of taking things for granted and being undecisive in anything I do.

There are times when friends came up to me and tell me about their complains and stuff, and I just listened to them half-heartedly and gave useless advice. There are times when friends or family do things for me but I failed to acknowledge their kind act. For that, I have to say I am deserving of the lack of attention on their part when it is my turn to seek help or advice from them. From here, I finally understood the mirror effect; people will respond in the way they get in return.

2010-05-03T23:37:00.002+08:00

At Joint Acceptance site

Please select the course you wish to accept:

1) NTU - Biological Sciences
2) NTU - Chemical & Biomolecular Engineering (Reserve in earlier year)
3) NUS - Science
Reject all Offers of Admission

There are so many pros and cons of choosing each of them. Okay lets start with the first one -

1)
+ Probably(??) the course that I can score well in due to interest
+ DO not have as heavy competition as compared to the other science course
- Its biology afterall, prospects will only be good if I can score exceeding well and get companies to sponsor my postgrad studies. Otherwise it will be NIE. I think I will get killed by kids one day

2)
+ Professional course!
+ Decent prospects and decent pay
+ Develops analytical mind...assuming you survived the maths and projects. Has a little bio.
- Maths. Integration. Partial Differentiation (x10000). Chemistry? maybe 5%

3)
+ Provides the greatest flexibility if Im stilll not sure what to major in (prob biomed sci or chem)
+ Its called National uni for a reason.
- Cohort is too big, probably only 30% will make it to honours. No honours = no chance of research and post grad.

I need loads of advice.

2010-04-28T22:34:00.002+08:00

Saw this on fb,

'We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. Lighten and play, it's okay to be silly, curious and fun.'

yaya. I largely agree to this statement. As we grow older, our youthful and playful minds that is full of aspirations and inspirations will give way to more pressing concerns and issues that will concern our livelihood and future.

This could not be a more apt description of the situation that I am currently in now. My mind became dull after 2 years of army (even though it was interesting at times), and this dull mindset continues even though I have started working in SIM. It is probably attributed to the lifestyle and the task I do everyday: Wake up at 7 > take bus > reach workplace > do some dull admin stuff, be it 1) Photocopying or printing 1000 copies of something, 2) Data Entry of 1000 applications or 3) Stamping 1000 copies of something > end work > reach home > go online for a while before sleeping > Wake up at 7...... and the day repeats.

I gonna have to find some spark in my life again by trying out new things and experimenting some socialising soft skills during work.

Speaking of socialising, I realised its harder to make friends as we grow older. There is simply no such thing as hey-we-share-the-same-interest-so-we-should-be-friends anymore. That is the reason behind the easy friendships we make during secondary school. We start to realise that some people make friends for the sake of using them. To avoid this people, we start to distrust the newer acquaintances when they became too friendly and we will take each new friendship with a pinch a salt. In short, its harder to form closely knitted friendships and instead every new relationship became a weakly-linked one. (think temporary dipole-induced dipole interactions).

Reflection of the 2 years

2010-04-15T21:34:00.003+08:00

The following is taken from this very blog, with the entry dated August 2008.

"in two year's time, i am sure i will question myself - what have i done in the past two years? i am very sure if i carry on life as i am now, the answer will be slacking away, wasting time and weekends on computer games and meaningless movies. in the end, what i have gained is just useless soldier knowledge and a wasted two years. so after pondering for a while, i came up with a list of things i want to do after i finished my advanced training and settled down on a unit.

1) learn driving
2) continue learning swimming? Its a pity i left it at Gold level when i was in sec 2. if not i would have maybe gone to learn to become a lifeguard. diving may be another option for me..
3) take SATS? i know i cant change my A levels results to stand a better shot in entering pharm next year, but at least taking this might keep my brain working and hopefully can contribute abit to the university admission (even though they alr said SATS WILL NOT be considered)
4) train up in a recreational sport i like.. Pool? But the only thing that prevent me from doing so is the hefty cost of training =.= "

For those who made it through the reading, many congratulations to you and what will follow next is the main point of the entry.

Out of all those aims that I have listed, only one is attained, and that is the class 3 driving license. I can only think of the following reasons for never pursuing the rest of the aims.

2) The second goal was quickly washed away due to hefty learning fees and the awkward location of the training ground.

3) SATs never came into my mind as I already knew NUS will not take the results for consideration for entry into pharm.

4)Pool was occasionally played in camp and even so I wasnt good and frequently draw with ivan.

The two years have seemed slow and even torturous to the point that ORD seemed to be ultimate solution. However, looking back, it seemed only yesterday that I boarded penguin ferry en-route to Tekong and watched my friends enter their first year of university. In a flash, two years have passed and I am faced with the exact same question as I had two years ago: What do I want to do with my life? The reason for being stuck in the same situation? Procrastination.

Everything I had wanted to do over the past two years was always half-hearted, be it planning duty rosters, or writing this blog entry. It always seems tempting to postpone a blog entry or to stop searching the web for career options when warcraft 3 can be played by clicking a few buttons, or that comfort of being in bed is only 1 metre away. Often, I gave myself away to these distractions and let killing heroes or snuggling in bed take up my time and thoughts. Sometimes I would feel guilty over the opportunity cost of the time spent and try to come up with a "Plan" or list of things-to-do to cover my guilt, but a plan is nevertheless only a plan that would never materialised to action. I was soon again be tempted by the same distractions that waste time. In this end this guilt feeling merely compounded, with the end result being that I felt aimless and guilty at the same time, and the only solution was the distractions that caused me to feel that way in the first place, creating a vicious cycle that last and numb me for two years.

However, I felt that I have finally come to my senses, otherwise you probably wouldn't even see this blog entry. I have started to take up concrete actions to knowing what course I want to pursue and what kind of future I would want to have.

So far, my only change for this year's application is Accountancy. It was a last minute decision (with the application sent in at 11.30pm on the last day), but quite a good one, for it provided me with the excuse to research about the course seriously and break out of the vicious cycle. The interview required to enter the course gave me a chance to practice being grilled under by two interviewers that were just out to question my interest and my A level grades that were not As. But at the end of the day, I realised that even if I were offered the course, the only reason I will accept would be due to pragmatic reasons. As angeline puts it, accountancy is a second dumping ground for those with interest in science but fails to make it to good courses like medicine and dentistry.

2010-03-07T00:43:00.002+08:00

The most eventful day of the week.

In the morning I had a gym session with sk. I was horrendously late cause I have to help my brother bath (which was quite eventful by itself). Went to the threadmill. Running 2.4km in thirteen minutes on the treadmill made me as though I have ran for 5 km, sounding off the alarm screaming 'unfit'! My original purpose for gym today was just to assist sk in his bench press. When it's my turn to do the bench press, I gave my half hearted effort. As I was doing halfway grudgingly, I heard a familiar voice coming from an intimidating figure. His name is Jerry and he gave us some advice for gym exercises two years ago.

He look at me and say I wasnt doing properly (of course I wasnt). He then corrected my posture, my position and my grip. Somehow with his guidance, I managed to be able to 'feel' the exercise more and actually felt like I was doing properly for once. Or maybe I just wasnt have too much faith in myself. After that he proceeded to point out our weakness and common mistakes, and even show us how to do other exercises properly. It was probably my most rewarding gym trip in two years. I guess sometimes we need a person in our life to give us the faith and belief to do things properly.

Smelly and dirty, I met up with my parents and sister for lunch. Actually its more of a seafood feast. It's actually one of the better food I have ate for quite a while...

In the evening I met my battery mates for dinner at Marche. To be honest I don't think the sirloin steak I had was worth the wait and money. I just succumbed to peer pressure and ordered what the others ordered, even though my rational self is telling me to order other dishes. I would have wanted the Pork Knucle instead, but alas it wasnt available when I was ordering for my food.

After dinner we went out to walk along orchard road, which was filled with a few groups of performers. Two guys were singing with guitars on a stage in front of takashimaya and one of them has a totally clear and smooth voice, making his accoustic version of 'Down' sounding reallly really nice. There were also this Boon Lay nasi lemak group, which features an auntie singer, an uncle keyboardist, and one solo auntie dancer -.- It was quite odd, with the auntie dancer trying to get the atmosphere of dancing going, but everyone who was walking by ignored her.

As we were walking in taka, peiru suddenly comes up with a joke that is rather impactful. "Imagine someone in the funeral was wearing nice clothes, and another someone asked the someone, 'why do you wear so nice in the funeral?' The someone answered, 'Well rarely have funeral mah, so just wear something nice lor!' "

OMG faints.

2010-02-14T03:27:00.003+08:00

New Zealand is in my opinion, the best place you can ever be in if you want to see real scenery. The short 15 days has taken me and friends to views that we could never had imagined; skies of real blue that gets darker in shade the higher we see, fields of green grass and slopes that stretch out to as far as you can see, a true active volcano (Mt Ruapehu) that always became the backdrop for our camwhoring, a whole galaxy of stars amidst the dark sky without any HDB obstruction, and seeing many many cows and horses. Words and photos arent fitting to describe these views; its just too magnificent to be captured by any camera and mere phrases.

Things, Stuff, People, Anything that I will miss during my time in NZ:

1) First of all, the people. Without them, even the nicest scenery would not be as magnificent. They are the ones who bring up the morale when the going gets wet. Yes, I have said it; its wet, not tough for this case. Wet because of the constant drizzle that accompanied us almost half the time during our stay in new zealand. A dull day would become a fun day with us teasing xing zhi, peiru coming up with his jokes and stories, yong cheng and ivan (and of cuz me) doing stunts and funny stuff that somehow managed to 'outdo' each other.
Here are some stuff which I remembered but have no photos to remind me of:
*Me and Ivan's Kappa Sentry pose
*Me and Vincent struggling to carry three 45kgs projectiles up an upslope for 100 metres in the heavy rain during day 2. We managed in the end though =)
*Having rations to arrive many hours behind meal times. Our dinner came at 11pm, which is about the proper timing for dinner back in singapore.
*Seen a true semi-circle rainbow with all 7 colours at the gun park!
*Solving a grease-refilling problem with instructors Guo Jie and Jonathan. Shows that optimism and perseverance is all you need to solve problems.
*Playing the game 'polar bear' in the hotel till late in the night with desmond, my batch, kenny.

2) Trampling through slopes and hills with infinite rows of green and yellow grass to reach another gathering place. I swear I would get lost if I just wandered in the slightest wrong direction as everywhere looks identical.

3) Food in the camp! Breakfast: Many many servings of large juicy and meaty bacons, eggs, hashbrown and fresh milk (which somehow make us clear our bowels at a abnormal daily basis). Lunch & Dinner: Lamb, chicken, lagsana, beef and very very nice desserts that taste something like cream mixed with raspberry sauce and chocolate chips. The last day we even had nice prawns and beef steak to consume. Of cuz there is also the few 'illegal' trips to hot shots cafe, which I tried the steak burger, the whoopa burger (imagine two pieces of really nice and crispy bread, in between are layers of the following: cheese, bacon, beef, pineapple slices, tomato, vegetables, egg), and the milk shakes.

4) What should be green is really green. What should be blue is really really blue. What should be stars became many many stars in a clear sky night. In short, the views. Fantastic. Magnificent. Spectacular. Beyond words. Need any more description?

5) Having my first live firing experience, despite it being a low zone 2. Its really the main reason why we should be in new zealand in the first place.

Will keep this updated when I remember more stuff. For now its the start of tiger year, but I think I should be getting some sleep.

Off to see the kiwis....

2010-01-20T10:42:00.002+08:00

I will be away at new zealand north island from 200110 to 050210 for a pre-ord holiday!! =D To be honest Im more nervous about civilian stuff that I have brought rather than the 'things' we are supposed to do there, e.g whether I can bring an adaptor for my psp charger...=p

Looking forward to a clearer mind, a resolve, and many many nights of starry skies...

2010-01-17T01:42:00.002+08:00

Well guess what... my secondary school classmates said I never change much in terms of looks since secondary school. wow. -.- i guess its not exactly my fault eh? unless i go for plastic surgery, i think i will look the same in uni. yay. anw its cherrie's 21st birthday party today and i am glad i went to it, even though three quarter of the time was spent stoning together with tommy and jun de. glad the last one quarter was spent in meaningful exchange between classmates who havent seen each other for 4 whole years.

as usual, i cant seem to express myself as freely as i wanted to. probably because 1) i never really think i have done much meaningful things in army that i can explain to them? 2) i also cannot seem to decide which direction i would want to go, even i have already chosen my course. bleh. i also cant help by wonder what would my 21st be like. random thoughts at 1.50am.

Fail to plan, Plan to fail

2010-01-07T00:56:00.002+08:00

My first post of the year. But unfortunately it will start with a gloomy mood though.

I have two days free, and as I want to get out of my slack life, I want to do things! Exactly what, I cant put to words also. Yet something just tells me that I shouldnt seat at home and watch gossip girl all day. I have to figure something out myself, but I guess its natural to be disappointed sometimes. Things just arent as easy to plan as one would thought to be. Well I figure out I should spend my time even more wisely to not du bu qi zi ji. Just that the only thought that floated into my head right now is swimming and maybe some cycling trip which wouldn't be materialised so soon. I should inculcate some of the regimentation I learn in army to my current life, so I wouldnt feel so wasted. So tmr (or rather today, since its 1am already) shall be my Day 1! Looking forward to it. =)

2009-12-30T23:01:00.002+08:00

Reflections for the year 2009....

Well..this year is hard to be summarised. There are quite a few high key events, such as taking part in NDP in the president's 21 gun salute, genting and seoul trip, getting my class 3 license, preparing for the 21km army marathon, and the list goes on. There is also the fact that I survive one whole year as a specialist, which has its good and bad points. Being a spec means I get accessed to many privileges and freedom, but it also mean a lot more work and responsibility, be it attending to the men's requests about guard duties and usms-es, or taking part in the many events like as change-of-command parades or the army open house. I learnt more about myself than any other year due to the many things that happen around me, and I am grateful to that. I also realised that many things can be a lot better if you initiate them and not wait to be initiated ^^ (though i did not initiate too much things). Somehow despite the many things that happen, I still managed to keep track to my passions of swimming and playing the keyboard. Though I wished I could have done more to find out about what exactly I want for my future, and the few library trips I have made didn't help. With all these in mind, I have come out with a few resolutions for the year 2010!

1) care more about friends by initiating events
2) read more books~
3) continue to keep fit with my fitness regime even after ord.
4) find time to do things that are outside my comfort zone to know about myself.

2009-12-30T22:07:00.002+08:00

My brother just got admitted to the hospital in the afternooon. it has been on an regular basis throughout the 3 years, and this time its due to lung infection. However it is of my parent's and the doctor's opinion that he would not receive any emergency resuscitation in the event his condition gets worse. I dunno how I should feel about this... either way it will cause much sadness to our family for the days to come. Let the future decide our path, which were not in our hands to start with...

Two eventful days...

2009-12-29T23:49:00.004+08:00

I finally felt what it means to be a bmt specialist, and how it feels to be going through the day with the new men as the specialist. And its not that easy. I thought all along its just all a talk-show, just scold and tekan. but i pretty much realise that if i were to demand standards from them, i have to show them the standard myself. i cant say i pretty much remember all the standards and how was i brought up in bmt and sispec, so it took quite some time for me to get used to be shouting at them and getting them to do things properly. in the end all the standards have a reason behind them, and its for them to get used to the regimentation and discipline and not slacken off after bmt. Lol and i almost disgraced myself by making them turn the wrong way and giving them the wrong command a few times. I also forgotten what water parade is le -.- screwed up duty spec.

Had my wisdom tooth extraction today. after many interviews by the nurses, the female dental surgeon and an anesthetist, i was finally brought into the day surgery operation theatre. it was not quite what i imagined, as the room is quite small. but its still have space to move around despite the many equipements at the side, and the big operation lights on the ceiling. i was administered the drug and within minutes my whole hand turned numb and my mind starting spinning soon after. The next thing I felt is as though i have been woken up from some deep deep sleep, with all the wisdom teeth removed, but thankfully there wasnt much pain until i rinsed my mouth. four less teeth for the new year!

2009-12-27T19:54:00.002+08:00

Its the time of the year when friends of the old and new gather. Im glad many are doing well, be it studying, slogging their guts and time in army, or working.

Will be extracting my wisdom tooth (altogether four) next tuesday via general anesthesia. Cant say I feel very comfortable about it, but since its sponsored by saf, I cant complain. Better extract now than later right? Looking forward to a diet of fruit juice and porridge for the rest of the week! Hopefully I can recover in time to at least celebrate the new year.

How come I got this sinking feeling? Its nt really related to my tooth extraction I suppose.

Seoul - land of the kimchi

2009-12-18T23:10:00.015+08:00

Seoul, known as the land of the morning calm, but to most people, its undoubtedly the land of the kimchi, owning to the simple fact that every single meal will include kimchi as an appetiser. I will be the first to admit the six days of time I spent with my sister there was like another whole new life altogether, be it exploring beautiful places, experiencing a colder weather than I have ever felt, learning to live in a environment of foreign language, as well as leading a life of adventure where anything can happen in a day. This is really the first time I really appreciate the joys of travelling.

Day 1
We flew on friday night, 5th Dec. I produced a non-audible scream of joy when the ticket counter gave us our boarding passes, for we were holding on to standby tickets. On the six hours flight there, I somehow managed to get by without going to the toilet, which was fortunate since my seat partner was a ang moh who managed to somehow sleep throughout the flight. Not for me though, but thankfully there is movie entertainment. Reached Incheon International Airport at an ungodly time of 5 am. Thankfully my sis had already made arrangements to the hotel we will be staying in, so we just have to seat on a express limousine (its a bus actually) straight to Grand Ambassador Hotel. Had our first and expensive breakfast in the hotel, but its really authentic amercian breakfast with bacon and eggs and bread and etc.

It was around 10 am when we first tried walking out on the streets. The moment we were out of the hotel, we were bombarded with a blast of cold, dry wind. That day's temperature was around 2 degrees, and it was really really cold. As we havent get used to the temperature yet, all we could do was to walk around the streets for fifteen minutes before finding a shelter in the many retail malls around. The traffic in Seoul was really horrible; cars dun observe the red/green lights and pedestrain crossings at all! The traffic was constantly congested, as expected from a city. That day was also the first day I saw real snow flakes falling from the sky, but which I refered to as dandruff, simply because the flakes were really too small and too thin from what I imagined as real snow. Nevertheless we found out a few days later that Seoul wouldn't be covered in snow any time soon.

Took my first photo at Dongdaemun, one of the historical landmark of Seoul. To be honest I didn't think its very impressive. The area's more famous for its many retail malls such as Doota, Miligore and its traditional markets. One interesting fact of its retail malls is that they are open throughout the day until 4am! The traditional markets there are huge - I walked three streets of only one section of a market, and all the vendors sell shoes! There are also other malls around the area in which locals gather to buy fabrics. After walking around for four plus hours, we went to a internet cafe and a tourist centre to enquire about ski resorts that we were planning to go. The service was helpful, but because English wasnt a very proficient language of Koreans, all we could gather was that the Dragon valley ski-resort would be hard to reach as they require a subway ride, a 3 hour bus ride, and a taxi ride. In the end we went back to the hotel and incidentally found a brochure regarding a ski-tour that includes transport and accomodation to the ski resort straight hotel.

Despite it being expensive, we just sign up for it to save the trouble. Turns out to be a decision that we regret later. In the night we went to Myeongdong area, a young people's market similiar to five times the size of bugis street but filled with alleys of double storey shops of known but not so expensive brands. Did not really enjoyed the first nights out due to the weather though, it was still quite unbearable.

A ride that spins and tries to toss you out of the seat. Interesting.

I was literally freezing when I took this picture in front of the light. But its nice.

First dinner! Chicken with bee hoon. Really nice! I think they have quite a few branches of that in Seoul. Its also the first time I tried soju, locally-produced potato alcohol, quite similiar to vodka in strength but a bit sweeter.

Piping hot Apple chips! It became cold within one minute though.

Bear Bear!

Day 2

Rise and shine early on the next day, fresh to embrace whatever cold weather that Seoul gives us. I wore extra pants beneath my jeans and double socks. Also applied some lip balm for the air moisture is much lower than in sg. Surprisingly the weather on that day was perfect; not so cold and not so windy, with clear blue skies! Went to a tourist spot, Korean Folk village. There are many old traditional korea houses and it showcases a lot of the interior structure during the old times.

Took a photo of my sister within the many trees and the clear blue skies behind.

NSeoul Tower behind me. Welcome to my parade square.

Well...'mind your head' signs are nt that useful afterall.

Welcome to my humble abode.

I think I went behind the wrong one.

Their mugging environment - nt bad huh?

disturb......

Saw this gate in the subway station of Gyeongbokgung. Supposedly the gate grants whoever who walk pass it enternal youth.

Poor Soldiers standing guard outside Gyeongbokgung. Cool costume huh.

Blue skies + Gyeongbokgung main door behind = Me jumpshot.

We saw palaces after palaces, from the main hall to the residence area. There's a guide that we bought. It consist of a pen-mp3 like thingy with ear-piece and a brochure. When we place the pen tip onto the location we are in on the brochure, there will be a recording introducing the place. cool stuff.

Snake buddy....

Korean Folk Museum.

Look at the trees + blue skies + the frozen lake beside.

A chinese tourist asked us to give our camera to him to take this photo. We are amazed by his spontaneous approach.

Welcome to my second not-so-humble abode.

Our lunch was settled in a totally korean speaking traditional restaurant. There is a underfloor-heating system on the floor of this restaurant. Never have I felt so pleased to seat on the floor and eat. I learn that if we just look carefully in the alleys of the streets, we may find nice dining places. The food was totally authentic korean style, with loads of small dishes, and one very nice and warm soup. It was in this shop that I learned to call for the bill and say thank you (Gamsa Hamida!) in korean.

Another palace that we visit in the day, Chyeongbokgung. Apparently its suppose to be a 'reserve-palace' shd Gyeongbokgung be not available.

Sacred Garden.

The doors are really low...

Took this photo along the paths of sacred garden. Really really nice view and a very nice garden. Apparently its a heritage site.

Went to Lotte Shopping mall by taking a subway after that. Its a thirteen-storey departmental store that puts most shopping centre in singapore to shame. It may sound silly but I had Japanese sashimis for dinner. Expensive but decent bah. Saw many many nice cashmere coats like those in korean dramas. Too bad I dun live in a temperature country, otherwise I would be very very tempted to buy one. Went to myeongdong alley for the second time in two days - this time i noticed many many more things than i did the previous night. Probably because I have already gotten used to the weather already. A lot of the shops sold food, idol stuff that include calendars & posters, branded merchandise, fake merchandise. I have to say though, the sizes for most clothes there are sold for supermodel-figures, which caters to the most young patrons.

Day 3

A van came and pick us up from the hotel that we stay in. However we were told during the journey that instead of going to Pyeongyong Ski resort, we will be going to Yangji Ski resort, which is a lot closer to Seoul. I felt quite cheated by the tour, since the first ski resort was quite renowned and the latter was an unknown location that I havent even see before on the internet. Nevertheless I learn that we have to be patient and make the best out of what we have when things dun go our way. Thankfully yangji resort has accomodation for us to stay for the night. Rented ski dress that consist of water-proof jacket and pants, as well as gloves, boots and the skis. We went for about 2 hours of beginners lesson and we are into the snow~

The best skier in the world. Not.

Fell down quite a few times. Though it was always a soft landing due to the snow. Its really impossible for me to ski on level ground and upslope though, so I always have to take out the skis, walk upslope with my skis on hand, put on skis (which is really a tedious process due to the snow stuck within), and ski down the slope within like lets say 6 seconds? We could only attempt the beginner slope and a rather intimidating advance slope, so that wasnt much choice. It was fun while it lasts, and provided that you have control of where you are going.

We realised that this resort caters mainly to locals, not tourists. This particular room that we stay in for the night has many features that resemble a holiday chalet rather than a hotel room, such as a stove with many pots and pans, fridge, kettle and so on. The best part of this room: Underfloor heating! I slept on the floor for the night, and it was rather warm and cosy.

La pi xiao xin! % similiarity?

Our dinner for the day! It costs around $2o sing dollar, and it has almost twenty pieces of chicken! Its crispy and yet have some kind of bbq sauce outside its coating. Im glad we never put off buying the chicken just because of the 20 minute wait. It really puts kfc to shame. We have very nice Jajung mian (Chinese noodles with sauce).

Korean's standard of english really isnt very high.

Day 4

After much training on the beginner slope, I decide that it would not be worth the money that I pay if I never try the advance slope at least once. I never purchase a gondola ticket that will take me to the top though, instead I climbed. After what seems like a 10km road march, I finally reached the top (nearly the top would be more accurate).

The view doesnt look very impressive from here, but trust me, its quite high up. Look how small the buildings became (on the top right of the photo).

I certainly had my fun ski-ing down, but I felled down once due to lack of control. Nevertheless I continued the rest of the journey down smoothly. It was really really fun to have a much longer downslope for once.

After that, as part of the ski package, we went to a hotel's hot springs. The funny thing about hot springs is that you must be butt naked to enter the waters. Not even swimwear is allowed. Oh well. I guess i became used to the nakedness after a while. The hot springs were really hot for the first 10 seconds when I get into it, but it became quite comfortable after a while. I also paid around 20 sing dollars for some rub and scrub message by another naked man -.-

Under the advice of the tour guide on the way back to seoul, we went to this bbq meat korean restaurant. Its one of the more well-known korean food that we know back in sg, and we really want to taste the authentic ones in korea. This restaurant dun disappear on this aspect - in fact the pork slices were succulent and have a smoky bbq after taste that lingers in the mouth. Ahh.

Cooking the pork slices. Notice the smoke vaccum on top.

Breadtalk in Seoul!

It was a big shopping day for us. I finally decided to buy a puma sneakers from ABC shop, which slashed prices for most branded sneakers. Also bought SNSD girl's generation calendar! Went back to the hotel contented with the day.

Day 5

We were running out of ideas of where to go in Seoul, so we decided to go further out to COEX mall, located after the han river.

My pink beetle!

Had lunch in the foodcourt. We tried the two types of bimbibap, one of which is on the stonepot, the other on a hotplate. Yum yum. Also went to redmango, a chain popular in korea that sells mango-based desserts and yoghurt.

I was kinda hungry you see.

Walked out of the mall and visited a temple. It was a very sacred place, and one particular hall that we walked into have many devotees kneeling on the floor, facing many statues of buddhas.

I had one photo with the biggest of the buddha.

After that we went to hyundai departmental store, another premium mall similiar to Lotte. Seriously can shop till you drop. That's a basement supermarket that sells many many local food, all that can be wrapped up and taken home. We bought one big plate of strawberries and happily devoured them in the hotel.

My sis wanted to try bbq beef, so for the 2nd night in a row, we ate bbq stuff. The only reason we came to the shop was that the one of the shop attendants speak chinese. The food wasnt as fantastic as the ones we tasted the previous night though.

A rare photo of the two of us together.

As it was the last night in korea, all that's left for us to do is to shop for souvenirs to be bought back home. Went to this mall called doota and I managed to buy a shirt, while my sister splurged quite a bit on hairpins due to the fantastic eloquence of the shopkeeper.

Last photo of Seoul in front of one of the decorations outside doota mall.

I was glad that we managed to fly back to sg on the next day as the flight stilll have a lot of space. Although the trip was fantastic, Im still glad i am on the way back home with many other fellow singaporeans that we havent seen for 5 days. I still prefered the weather in sg rather den the cold and dry weather of seoul =D

2009-12-04T18:36:00.002+08:00

Its the first time im going to the airport to take the plane for once, and not sending other people to take their planes. Its also the first time im going to the airport with no idea where i am heading towards to -.- Wish me luck to get the plane i wan, and if all goes well, i will be back by next thursday.

2009-11-29T21:41:00.002+08:00

Time flies. Havent been updating too much. Probably because much have went into a standstill, which I cant really describe.

Much of this month has been spent on preparing the parade gun and sharpening of arms drill standard for the arty change-of-command parade. The parade gun-to-be in particular was previously used for many many outfields, and the exterior of the gun shows that fact. It was like a extreme makeover. Everything from the barrel (which have to be oiled) to the track pads (which have to be changed) was to look perfect. The track pads in particular took one whole week to settle as there are several problems we face during the change. What I really learn from this week was never expect everything to fall into plan, but do expect last minute problem and changes to pop out, so it is best to provide some leeway when planning to settle those last minute problems.

Its the first time (and hope its the last time) I am in the marching contingent for a coc parade. Drill standards are quite high, but not as perfect as those I see during ndp. Nevertheless its a proud moment for everyone during the actual parade when we stepped out in line with the band music.

2009-11-14T00:02:00.002+08:00

Today, I went for my dental appointment at Alexandra Hosp. It was drizzling heavily, but since I dun relished having an umbrella in my overfilled bag (despite having my mum's advance notice), I (lan lan) have to walk on the shelterless pathway between the hospital and bus stop without one.

Reached the dental clinic right on time after walking around the hospital, which strangely doesnt tell me the direction of the dental clinic. The x-ray results for the teeth: 4x wisdom teeth, with one already out. To my horror, 3 of the remaining teeth were actually pointing inwards, also known as Mesioangular impaction to those interested. Unlike my friend, who have to ask for his teeth to be extracted, the dentist straight away asked whether I want to have general anesthesia or local anesthesia to extract my 4 teeth. Obviously I chose general; I literally just have to sleep through the operation =D I also wouldn't have to care about the cost, as its fully paid for saf. =DD The operation date wasnt fantastic though; its just two days before new year's eve. I guess it is time to end these four teeth's regime in my mouth once and for all before the new year starts.

2009-11-04T20:25:00.003+08:00

Had my long delayed dental appointment today. It wasn't that easy to get out though, as today is the evaluation day for my close combat training. I have to endure about two hours of waiting time as Im one of those last groups to be tested. Unlike the mock grading (which I flunk), I managed to 'smoke' my way through all the stupid techniques with a lot of exaggerated actions, reactions and shouting (screaming actually. especially towards the end). The sparring was especially exhausting; imagine screaming and shouting with each and every move you make, be it defending or attacking. By the end of 2 minutes, we cant even bow to each other properly.

Oh ya, I still haven't talk about my dental. Because the test end so late, I have to rush to bath, get off-pass, walk out of camp and take a cab to Woodlands polyclinic within half an hour. Miraculously reached 1 minute before appointment time. I sat on the all too familiar 's' shaped chair and face upwards towards the bright lights. A dental consulation during secondary school was the last time I remember seeing those lights and surroundings. This surroundings don't give me good memories, though. I never had an appointment when the dentist just examine and let me go when I was in school. And its still the same for this time.

I was surprised and mortified during the examination when the dentist told me I had not one, not two, but three decayed teeth. And the teeth which I thought were my wisdom teeth and which I happily neglect and let it decay? Turns out to be my second molar -.- So, for everyone who, like me, dunno what are wisdom tooth, they are tooth that grow behind the second molar, or it can be also called the third molar. Sighs. Obviously the dentist cannot sit by and do nothing to the decayed teeth. So with no mental prepartion or whatsoever, she cleaned up whatever there is supposed to be cleaned up. I think I may sound like a big fuss here; afterall what's the big deal with cleaning my teeth? Well I have to confess that I have a childhood phobia of seeing dentist ever since young, especially since none of the dental visits I had were pleasant, as mentioned above. The feeling of putting multiple metal things into my mouth was so revolting that I have to force myself to relax and not choke on my own saliva. Luckily I did not embarassed myself in front of the female dentist today, but to say the truth, I was really glad when the consultation ended.

My weekend....

2009-11-01T21:55:00.002+08:00

Zouk wasnt the most empty places to visit at any time, even more during Halloween where it is changed to a place called 'Villianville', and flocks of costume wearers came and squeezed into the extremely full arena, each with its own type costume for a purpose; some to attract attention, some to scare, and even more people tried to gain free entry to Zouk with their costumes. Unfortunately me and my band of army peeps werent dressed up; we simply didn't think it would be neccessary. However we realised we were wrong when we reached the place: At least 7 out of 10 people there came dressed up, from the simplest, tattoo drawing on the face, to the most complex, a monk dressed up with all the props on hand, plus one bra sticked to his 'headgear'. Lol. It was definitely fun in some sense to so called 'vibrate' with the music on the dancefloor, but I wun visit it again unless I have a bigger bunch of peeps of mixed genders. I must say its quite a visual spectacle to see all the costumes dressed up by females, and interesting (and digusting) to see the behaviour and strategies displayed by some males to so called 'rub flesh' with people of the opposite sex.

500 Days of Summer! Nice movie, realistic, witty and funny. Sometimes certain relationships just wouldn't work out, with no fault lying on both parties. Another message from the movie: There is no such thing as coincidences when it comes to relationships; its fate. Treasure it, or you will regret dearly for sure.

2009-10-29T21:47:00.002+08:00

Good news: Its confirmed that I am going to New Zealand.
Bad news: Its also more or less confirmed that there will be many many outfields to come. bleh.

I screwed up my combat shoot. Somehow during the most crucial part of the shoot, which carries the most points and is the easiest, I forgot to switched to 'Semi" mode from 'Safe" mode when I am about to shoot my target, causing me to miss like 2 easy targets. Night shoot was horrendously bad, with my team missing like 60% of the targets. I thought the day couldn't get worse already, since I never get my marksman. Never did I thought my CO would want to make us 'practice' one more time >.< I was about to sulk and pout for all I am while at this; thankfully zisong came to the picture and cheer me up using his version of 'I gotta feeling'.

Now we are learning throws. Its not fun getting thrown onto your back flat. Really.

2009-10-24T01:14:00.003+08:00

Aw...so sad huh. Friends for 7 years, but in the end its the company that he's blaming. Intoxication also requires the right company huh? But I have to admit he's right in a way...we have to move on..

My plans..

2009-10-22T19:48:00.004+08:00

This month is the month of october. To be exact, its the end of October. From this perspective, November will come and exactly three months and one week later, ORD lo. Though its not like I had anything concrete for the days that will come after ORD. What I had in mind was a list of wants and what-to-dos, such as my want of my long awaited diving trip and completing an undetermined task to prepare myself mentally for the interview (if there is ever one). But what I really need is a imaginary converter, one that will turn all these thoughts into a concrete plans of actions. This conversion should be a part of my brain's function, but so far it has been preoccupied by plans not of my own, but of my unit, and it is going to happen just right before I ORD. So nowadays you may find me online more often. Its not because I lead a very good stay-out life, but rather, I need to clear my off/leave as much as possible to finish constructing whatever I need to do for post-ORD before my unit summons me back to be a part of their planned activities for the end of the year and start of the new year.

Life sucks. I can barely count with ten fingers the amount of offs I can get from next week onwards.

EDIT: Saw a phrase from a msn contact's nick which sorta explains the lack of the converter and kicks start of what I needed to do.
'YOU FAIL 100% OF THE TIME WHEN YOU DON'T EVEN TRY.'

On Pubs..

2009-10-18T01:46:00.003+08:00

Pubs. Not those public peeps that dota players meet on garena (whom I hate in general), but rather, dimly lited places with disco lights, loud music with waitress selling alcohol to anyone with the money. Its not a bad place though, as I enjoyed watching the soccer matches plus drinking and watching the live band performing at the same time. Certainly I can see the reason why emo people would choose to go to pubs and just drown themselves in the 'high' atmosphere, to beings devoid of their original stressful emotions.

Dinner @ Fishermen's Wharf is great. I loved my Snow Fish fillet. Words cannot describe the juicy and tender fillet plus a crispy, but not flaky, skin. F^&$ fish & co and manhantann (or wadever you are spelled).

Movie: Julie & Julia

2009-10-16T23:03:00.003+08:00

Watched Julie & Julia. To sum it up, I will have to use Jonathan's quote: 'It (the movie) is funny even though its not a comedy.'

In my opinion, good movies are movies which influence its viewers positively and provide entertainment to them throughout the whole length of it. Julie & Julia certainly is one. You definitely cannot stop the urge to laugh whenever Julia Child expresses her emotion; whether is it her speech, her reaction, or her way of cooking. The other character, Julie, a married woman in her late twenties-going-to-be-thirty, provides inspiration to its viewers with the all too familiar scenairo that many of us is likely to face: Having a meaningless job and wanting to do something that she liked for her life.

What is that something I like, that I can do, so that I have no regrets for life? I cannot have a definite answer to that yet. All I can think of now is things that I like to do; swimming, playing the keyboard, k-ing etc...

2-Day Work Week

2009-10-10T01:15:00.005+08:00

I love my 2-Day work week! Although there's the expected call-back by sergeant major big head, everything else went uncanningly smooth. Duties were handed over successfully to another batch of people after two mock 'press-the-button' siren. To our good fortune, Big head is flying overseas to India to where he belongs!

Dinner at Kushinbo (for the Battery Cohesion) was totally carbo-load with soft-shell crabs, long-legs crab and a lot of chocolate fondue desserts! And there was of course this 'bong bong bong, 1,2,3, kushinbo.....', and that was when many people, including adults, rushed to get this limited half-hour special dish cooked by the chefs. After seeing all the ord-ed men coming in working attire, there were mixed feelings in me. For one, I am happy for them as they have started working, and its like realising your child has grown up le, after accompanying and growing with them in camp for 10 months. For another, I am glad I am currently still an NSF (grudgingly of cuz), for I do not have to worry about income and job-hunting yet, at least for another 4 months.

Watched Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. Post-movie thoughts:

** It is important to have mutual understanding between the parents and their children. While it is imperative for the parents to have faith in their children's ability, their children should also be more understanding to their parents, asking questions during rejection instead of shutting down communication entirely.

** It is hard to find someone who can appreciate you for who you are entirely, your thoughts, your illogical-ideals, and your strengths and weaknesses. More often than not, people will try to become what society wants them to be, rather than who they are.

** You can run away from anything, but what you cannot run away from is yourself.

2009-10-08T01:18:00.002+08:00

Horoscope of the day..

'Your focus needs to be on your goals and desires, rather than your fears and worries. You see some challenges in the road ahead, but are making them out to be far more dangerous or risky than they really are. Have faith in your inner vision, stay true to your mission'

why didn't I thought of medicine earlier during JC? i would have known the criterias required and would have done a lot more. it was quite aimless during that time, leading to even more aimless results.

Tuesdays with Morrie..

2009-10-03T02:46:00.003+08:00

When you learn how to die, you learn how to live...
We have to learn how to love, or die...
Imagine a bird on your shoulder and you asked, 'Will I die today?" When people think they are about to die, they do things differently.
Forgive everyone!

Life becomes clearer, when you see the purpose in it, and not be blinded by ambition, money and career. Its amazing what a 1999 fifty minutes video can teach us.

----------------------

Midautumn festival at chinatown! Spent time with mm and lanterns, admiring the lights and sounds of chinatown. Three years plus of friendship and still counting...

Quote: Personality may open doors, but Character keeps the doors open

2009-10-01T00:04:00.004+08:00

By Elmer G. Letterman

How true... I realised that whether a person can succeed in a working environment depends on the principles that he upholds. There is no point pretending to have a amiable personality since the work you produced showcase who you actually are. Only those with character, who knows WHY they do the things they do and WHY they want to do work properly, will be able to do things properly in the long run, under any circumstances.

Then why do I want to do things properly? To not disappoint my battery mates? Maybe. To look good in front of my superior so that I can go for my off/leave? Partially true... But the real answer? I want to prove to myself that I can do things properly without flopping. Its a confidence and principle issue.

-----------

My very Realistic Aim for October:
One, to keep fit and start gyming. Two, to improve my grammar and writing skills. The rest of the time is for friends, family and get started with my passion - keyboard!

Welcome to the 2_ Club

2009-09-21T21:58:00.006+08:00

Happy birthday to me! i know its nt yet but gotta go back camp le. will blog about the fun day i had in sentosa some other time. and mm thanks for ur thoughtful present ^^ .

saturday:

A supposedly manjong and wii session gathering turned out to be a sad lonely wii session with only johnson playing guitar hero with me. well at least we learned the different techniques that is associated to each instrument and played together quite welll. after playing for two hours, i glanced at my phone and was surprised by the missed calls and messages received. alll were from chun meng and kelvin, my chevrons ktv khaki. needless to say, they were asking me for another round of ktv session. my throat was throwing tantrums that day though, so was chun meng's, so we opt to sing girl's songs instead of hitting the usual round of impossible playlists. had a not so fantastic supper at xin wang and that was the end of the day.

sunday:

outing with sm and julie. I had a lonely but cheap lunch near my sis's workplace. As I still have some time to spare, I went inside Isetan with no aim but just walking around. However when I reach the men's section, it was like stepping into a heavenly shopping ground. There were sales everywhere on items which I thought of buying, like belts and bags etc. A call by julie pulled me from my ecstasy and i got forcibly dragged to look at mooncakes and food at taka instead. Worse to come was the trip to dempsey road flea market, which features a huge and wide variety of girl's accessories, clothes and shoes from over five hundred stores. needless to say i adopt the usual squeeze-walk-wait-repeat strategy, but i guessed five hundred stores were really too much on me, so i seeked cover on the stairs instead. heaven to hell huh? lol. well it wasnt all bad, it was an eye-opener to clothes and more importantly the many EYE-creams over there. have to give my friends some mian zi mah, so I stayed for dinner at swensens with ice-cream buffet even though my throat probably cannot withstand icecream stuff anymore. well some stupid things we did that time was to share a baked rice among three person, playing with a faeces-like coffee ice-cream and playing with water cups. Thanks sm for introducing a new friend and for making things so lively in an otherwise dull sunday. i guessed i have a cheerful time afterall =)

monday:

family first! had lunch with my parents and dear sis in a korean restaurant at bukit timah. the bi bi bart (s/p?) was quite good with a good mixture of veggies and sauce, while the grilled beef was tender and juicy. had my sample of ice-cream (again lol) with a very strong whiskey taste which will make me think twice before drinking alcohol. took my time to walk around the old beauty world plaza looking for my dad's clothes before heading to vivo to meet mm, which unusuallly turns out to be me who is late. (paiseh!) I took my very first tram ride to sentosa, squeezing with people in an mrt-like environment. once i reached, the place greatly reminds me of genting, with alll the fun rides and attractions that are out to make wallets lighter. me and mm already had an eye on the sky-ride and luge ride before we came. Sky ride was enjoyable, at least for me lol. it will be even more thrilling if its fun and shaky though. luge was kinda good also, alas not really what i expected. chilled out at a small piece of land facing the sea and enjoying the seabreeze with not-so-wanted company - band of foreign workers. after much deliberation and much conviction, me and mm decided to take the Mega Zip ride! we were strapped to comfortable harnesses and ushered to the tower overlooking the megazip. It was a high 75 metres drop from the tower to the bottom, but scenic at the same time. Though obviously it was not the best mood to enjoy the view as what lies ahead was 450 metres of 30 degree drop. we were to take the ride together to save time and slots for other people, thus i think the speed of the drop was increased to the maximum. it was more thrilling than scary, as once we get over the initial drop and high ground, the acceleration and speed really make the ride very enjoyable. other than the brushing of my legs with treetops every now and then, I really enjoyed the ride. Thanks for the organiser and the day! The organiser will probably help me remember stuff and preserve my in-camp memories!

tuesday:

as expected, when i am in a bunk together with six of my bunkmates still awake till 12am, something is bound to happen to me. blanket-party, tau poks and ahem things that i shouldn't mention here >.<> for making things memorable for me =) had dinner out at pasta mania (Thanks Chunmeng for the car sticker!) and a long overnight chat with my buddy marks the end of my birthday, also the start of my life in the 2- club! I wished not for more materials, but the enlightening of mind and finding out what I really want to do.

Realisation.

2009-09-20T00:51:00.002+08:00

This week is a birthday week which unfortunately coincides with audit and inspection week. It doesn't mean all the fun is lost however; with all the tau poks, surprise drills, more tau poks and playing risk (the board game), life in camp never gets boring, especially since master sergeant big heard was on medical leave. Incidentally I left out a few friend's birthday during this and the past week, to which I can only give my most sincere apologies and belated wishes. Makes me wonder if I really should appreciate my friends more.

14 Sep. Its the day when most of the senior batch of specialist came back to camp and collect their pink ic and duffel bags. Seeing their faces of surprise when I gave some of them the cards I made during my duty on sunday makes me feel that my effort was worthwhile. Even though we know it is highly unlikely there will be regular meet-ups, we know we will still remember each other as the ones who is part of the chiong sua two year ns journey.

Tuesday. Watched G-force with mm. Well its actually quite a brainless follow-the-action kinda movie. But who wouldn't love a bunch of cute ferrets, hamsters and guinea pigs?

I realised I have been pretty much a blog stalker during this weekend. Somehow much facebook I incidentally stumbled onto a SMU student council promotion group. It's been some time since I last saw this self-appraisal and 'vote-for-me!' stuff so I delve deeper. The fanciful English which requires me to use free dictionary every now and then, the professional-sounding usage of words, were what I saw in each and every student council hopefuls group page. One particular hopeful even have a wordpress blog to illustrate his desire and plans to change if he's chosen. What's the point of seeing all these? Well I realised that my English has much to improve (ameliorate) if I want to rise above the common crop. Sometimes I even feel that my usage of language isn't really much better than those uneducated and self-appreciating enciks. Time to buy a thesaurus and get more reading materials.

A meaningful story...

2009-09-18T23:29:00.001+08:00

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed. 'Now,' said the professor as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.

The golf balls are the important things---your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions---and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.

The sand is everything else---the small stuff. 'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you. 'Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first---the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled and said, 'I'm glad you asked.' The coffee just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.'

Update...

2009-09-13T21:25:00.003+08:00

Some events of late...

ARMY OPEN HOUSE 2009

Its a event that totally drains my battery's resources to the point that almost always there is only one specialist in the whole battery, which is the one on duty orderly. For me Im being deployed during the Urban Operations Display which feature artillery blasting a house, but actually what we did there was just to show the mobility and deployment of my gun primus. After the show, loads of kids and adults came over to take a look at the interior of the gun. Most common and funny comments below:

MOST COMMENTED: 'WAH this tank (actually we call it gun as it is artillery, but the public dunno that) no air-con ah???? So hot!!! Poor guys!'
Me: *trying to act cool 'actually its quite okay la, we are used to it already.' (but actually sweating like mad le)

Public: 'Wow the insides are so big ah???' Me: 'ya actually we can play manjong inside if we want to.'

Many kids came inside also, mostly to take pictures inside the gun. Our job during that time was simple: keep the kids from hitting their heads by the low ceiling and siam away from their parent's camera. oh plus stop them from wandering around and anyhow press buttons.

Overall its still quite meaningful and fun la i supposed.

WII Session @ Aloha Lan (today)

4 players, 3 guitars, 1 mike and 1 drum set = a BAND for GUITAR HEROES. Its really really fun. =D

I think i am getting used to spending a lot nowadays already. from the comex it fair, I bought one audio technica plug-in headphone @ 60 bucks. quite a bargain considering it was worth 70 plus. but i still need quite a lot of stuff sia, like a decent portable organiser since im so forgetful, water bottle and a bag for going out. bleh. $$$$$$

Regarding ORD

2009-09-12T12:19:00.002+08:00

ORD LOH (not for me yet)
To most, this date is the day when freedom comes as a crack emitting rays of sunlight which leads to the unknown. This date is the day when guys are released from the burden of having to book into a camp on sunday night and being released on a friday evening. This date also means that guys no longer need to listen to the 'other unreasonable guy cuz his rank is higher or have a chocolate bar'. Remember the three guys to which we ended over the pink ic on Pulau Tekong? To some, the date will be all about the pink ic that they have dreamed over the past two years.
So isit really a wonderful date to look forward to?

After attending the ORD function at discovery centre yesterday, I realised the grass (once you get your pink ic) may not be greener on the other side after all. For one thing, income will definitely be a problem since NSFs are used to spending so much per month on food and entertainment. For some, life in school may sounds welcoming after two years of suffering in a army environment, but they will soon realised suffering within mountains of lecture notes and crateloads of assignments is very stressful as well. The future is just an even greater unknown once you leave the system that kept you from thinking too much about them.

ORD also evoke thoughts on the simple question - 'what have you done in the past two years and how have you changed?' To some this question merely provides the answer to all the colourful writings they will provide in their testimonial to be submitted to their superiors. Writings can of course be lies, but a speech by a lieutenant during the function certainly don't sound like a lie. Even though he wasnt my favourite outgoing officer, I still listened to him as I could sense the sincerity when he talk about his life in the army. This is someone who has really changed a lot, do things that he thought he couldn't have done, and truely believes in 'what don't kills you will make you stronger.' There are also other outstanding specialists in my battery, like YouRong who although looks like a joke by his actions and antics, but he is actually efficient and really will go the extra mile in things that he really wants to complete. Was he initially already have those traits or was he changed by army?.. Well one thing is for sure, we have to accept whatever that comes towards us and make the most out of the time left in the army so that what we have left to remember when we ORD is the experience we are proud of, the hardcore friends that we make for life, and the strengthening of our character to embrace whatever that may come in the future.

25 random stuff....

2009-09-02T21:41:00.005+08:00

Busy busy. again. somehow there's always a lot of things that other batteries will throw at us. its time to step up, be independent and play my role as the more senior specialist leading the way to complete tasks.

25 random things about me..

1) I hate green beans/peas, especially those there are found on the assorted corn/carrot/beans package which is normally used for fried rice.
2) Im a slow learner.
3) I was a librarian for about 3-4 years (?) during my pri school days and i really regret about it. should have done something more worthwhile..
4) I don't have the skill of finishing food cleanly...hopefully i wun get karma from this.
5) I also don't really like eating fish due to bones. same goes for prawns for their shells. I don't mind crabs though.
6) Im right-handed but have a left master eye. what this means is that my brain gets more images from the left eye rather than equally. this fact sucks especially when shooting cuz i cant close my left eye by itself properly.
7) The furthest country I have been to so far is china. sadded..
8) I sometimes wonder if im in need of a english name.
9) I think a lot but it doesnt seem to come to any conclusion. in the end rashed decisions is made and sometimes i regret my choice. contradicitng? abit.
10) I know I should spend more on my family but currently my top spendings are on apparels and entertainment.
11) I hate backstabbers, people who slack too much without thinking of others and those who are all talk but no show.
12) I get pissed off, jealous easily. even if i don't show it. 13) I am modest about any of my strengths, but sometimes i can get drastically proud of something until i forget that im the only one that is good at it and there are better people around.14) I tend to rely on hear-say too much and not have my own-opinion on things.
15) My favourite genre of books are thrillers/adventures.
16) The irony is that i hate movies that have many frigthening/sudden scenes. (thrillers)
17) I recognise the importance of doing certain things, but just never have the perseverance to do it to its best..
18) Im very interested in cars from a very young age. i remember i started collecting car models in primary school and very soon after i started collecting those bigger and more expensive model cars (1:18)
19) I tend to remain silent as there is really nothing meaningful that can come out from my mouth that is unprocessed.
20) I had quite a variety of nicknames in army. i think my favourite was cpl Conk when i was a specialist trainee as i tend to do stupid things.
21) I like music and playing music, even if im not talented.
22) I realised i never really like to support original stuff (for media). whether isit for console games or music albums.
23) Even though the lyrics of a song is important, i feel that the tune is more vital.
24) I very very very forgetful! =x
25) I believe nothing is free in this world.

2009-08-28T23:48:00.003+08:00

Busy busy week.

The two books i have brought to camp were not touched at all. instead i got hooked onto mitch's book called 'the five people you meet in heaven'. nothing religious, its just a book that invoked a lot of thoughts about the journey of life. its amazing how someone else's life story told in a different original approach can influence people and how we view life.

21km....

2009-08-17T21:52:00.002+08:00

is the distance that i ran for half marathon. i thought to myself, 'since i already ran 14km before, 7 more km shd be no kick!' ya right. i think i nearly died during the marathon la. the shagness is unbelievable. the whole leg just sort of cramped up and my nearly flat foot just keep on acting up. by the 16km im super demoralised at the rate each km pass by. ended up wasting like at least 20 plus minutes on walking instead of jogging. well this kinda shows that i dun really have the mental power to perserve when im alone....i have to rely on another jogging buddy to keep myself afloat.

haha japanese biscuits are nice. like really really nice. =D
I think i can eat bread and water after all the big spendings i have made this month =x

Corkscrew corkscrew corkscrew...

2009-08-15T21:22:00.004+08:00

It was quite a last minute decision to go on a trip to genting for three days with 6 other in camp khakis. Even my passport collection have to be rushed in order to make it for the trip. But all in all, it was a trip that i won't regret going..

The bus trip there was very comfortable - personal LCD screen with many choices of movies to watch, comfy chair with leg rest etc. I managed to watch two movies before reaching genting in good time in the afternoon.

Food:

Due to monetary constrains, nearly all my meals were fast food - mac, kfc, bk, marybrown, pizza hut. Okay actually its all the meals. The kfc is really nice as they offer chicken rice with soup, albeit full of msg. Bk was okay with all their black pepper burgers which is not available in singapore. marybrown is sort of like a mix between long johns, kfc, burger king, and its okay also. Only mac sucks cause its exactly the same as singapore's. One thing to note though, the service is really slow for all and all the prices reflected on fast-food menus does not include government tax. Pizza hut? They don't provide cheese. wth.

Entertainment:

Its quite good to go theme park on a weekday as there arent so much quenes. Started from the big swing which totally sets the mood of that day - giddy. Followed by the roller coaster before embarking on the park's second most thrilling ride - the corkscrew. The descending portion from the top totally makes my heart sink to the bottom as well. There is also the 360 degree turn etc which gives the roller coaster the name. After the initial shock, all became fun and as there arent many people, we took the ride a consecutive three times. I think i became quite immune to the feeling of free-fall after that. tried almost every thrilling ride, with the exception of space shot, which is unfortunately on maintainance.

Casino:

Yup im under 21. So by right im not supposed to go in. But as the majority of the group im with are all of age, me and my friend decide to come up with various ways to sneak into the casino. Our initial method was to act blur and just walk through the security counter. But the guards were relentless in checking passports and IDs of young people to make sure they are of age. We tried this method for like three gates of the casino and all three turns us out. Getting into low-spirits, we went to the fountain at the entrance of the hotel to stone. Thats when my friend suggested that we should just throw a coin into the fountain and make a wish to let us go in. After the weather became too cold, we went back to the hotel and discovered another casino entrance. However we did not barged in and instead stayed back to observe a group of china tourist who are also entering the casino. Apparently its a tour to see see look look. My fren den suggested to enter together with them. One guard wanted to ask the tour guide regarding the age of some girls who were also underage but were with the group. The tour guide just said, 'they are with me', referring to the girls, but somehow the guard take it as me and my fren included. So ta da! infiltration success!

Well its quite crowded, with loads of lightings, many many many jackpot machines (about one football field) plus a lot of tables displaying a variety of games -3 card poker, big or small, carribean poker, roulette etc. The sucky thing about that place, which incidentally made me miss singapore, is that they did not ban smoking in hair-conditioned place like the casino, ending up me inhaling one gas tank's worth of smoke. Its quite interesting to see real big amounts of cash exchanging hands fast though. Plus all the human behavior that i see inside, its quite different from what i can imagined.

9th August - The Last Parade

2009-08-09T01:52:00.003+08:00

While we have always complained about burning saturdays and wishing ndp to be quickly over, when the time really comes for it to be over, there's a certain part of me that is wishing it to be a bit longer...

Im glad to say that I have fun in this journey of celebrating the nation's birthday.
Thanks to those around me =)

HAPPY 44th BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE!

Six down, TWO more to go!

2009-07-27T11:56:00.003+08:00

1 more preview, and after the actual show on the 9th of August, NDP as part of my ns journey will finally be completed. It has been a relatively eventful two months plus of rehearsals, with stress building up on us increasingly as we will be in the limelight of the show, since it has never been done before. Every week, as the m3g moved behind the back of the floating platform, out to the direction of the merlion, in full view of everyone on the platform, the esplanade, and even foreign workers from the integrated resort, we will be very nervous as each of our every actions will be in full scrutiny by the crowd. Relief only comes after we sucessfully fired all nineteen shots and showcase to them what artillery has been doing for the past 44 years.

Although thats the end of the show, its not the end of work for us though. Every week since june we have been doing cease-firing in the night hours of around nine pm. Even though its tiring, everyone put in their best effort and quickly dismantle things like lightings, lightning conductors, wiring safety railings and most importantly the guns itself. finally when all work were done, my stand-in bq yong sheng will give out the dessert of the night - tau huay. journeying back to camp at 40km/h on the expressway without falling asleep is a remarkable feat that all of us are supposed to achieve, before the day finally ends.

----

7.30pm to 8.30pm, what would you do?

watching your favourite variety show on tv?
playing a game of dota or games on facebook?
well for once i used the time to explore the running routes around my neighbourhood. to my surprise, there is very well-maintained running route around my house that goes around toh guan to toh tuck, den from there to bukit batok and back to toh guan again. i think judging from the timing, the route is around 6-7km. saw many foreign workers along the way, and more surprisingly, saw many kids around my neighbourhood. i also din know that there were so many people jogging around this area. all in all, a cool night run with many things to see.

if there is one thing i would really want to do now, it would be to take up a open water diving license in malaysia and dive away!

2009-07-20T21:55:00.002+08:00

HEY YOU! Yes Dont Doubt It, its YOU! THANKS for the throat medicine. Hahahahahaha.

One punch, two punch, good day!

The 6th Potty..

2009-07-17T22:16:00.002+08:00

Its an 'Exceptionally Ordinary' movie, with an Exceptional Cast (all eyes on a certain Watson of cuz), Exceptionally humourous small scenes and an Exceptionally sad ending. Despite all the exceptionalities, its quite worth the watch even if you have never read the book, except that it might be quite hard to understand some parts. I have said sometime ago in the deep archives of this blog that Luna Lovegood is by far my favourite character and this movie don't disappoint. =)

10km - 50 minutes 30 seconds @ ECP
Training for army half marathon is well underway, with each week clocking at least 5km. 10km at one go is probably the farthest i have done so far and its still bearable. Though i think i need to buy a new pair of running shoes if i want to run any further.

Iron House Idol @ 4SAB Auditorium
As expected, I didn't made it to the finals. Den again, i thought i wasnt taking part of the thing to start with. Now that i think about it, i really gotta thank chun meng for entering me into this performance thing. Its probably the first time i have to perform to so many people in a event since playing the keyboard for 5 years. So i went to dig into the songs that i practiced and searched for youtube on how the pros do it. den thats when i realised the only way i can make it is to play a medley, so thats left like only one night to figure out how to link the three songs i have chosen together. in the end? i think it was okay, at least there werent any boos and instead much support from my battery. it was really quite a fun experience. ^

if you never try, you will never know whether you can do it.

2009-06-29T21:15:00.003+08:00

Picture taken from CR1, 200609. Featuring gun 5 of the PGS team firing off one blank round.

Standstill.....
I think i have stood on the same spot for too long...
While being confused by all the distractions beside me, time has left me standstill and continued its relentless march forward.
yes, a lot of happened to me.
yet, i wonder what has actually changed, what has i actually achieved.
while always complaining about how life is unfair for myself, what has i really learned?

'becoming stronger from losing, yielding even though its unfair, not running away even though its shameful, and overcoming a weak self-confidence over time.....'

First ever Presidential Gun Salute on water...

2009-06-18T23:28:00.004+08:00

Look out for the pgs on the last one and a half minute of the video!

Yup. Its featured on the news, newspapers, even on the mrbrown show! though the spotlight seems to be more concentrated on my female commanding officer lol. Today is the day when my unit, or rather my battery, made history by firing the PGS on marina waters for ndp. Five shots were fired instead of the full twenty one shots, which is enough to demostrate the coolness of firing the pgs visible to the audience instead of hiding in some grass field somewhere. The glory of it is shown for the Two Minutes plus on the youtube video link on the post. But....behind the scene is Five hours of preparation for the day itself, and Five months of preparation for the whole procedure to be drafted out, carried out, troubleshooted and rehearsed for the show.

The tough part for this year's pgs is not for the performance itself, but rather the process in which the guns are loaded up to the platform, action-fronted and prepared for safety. All we got from the start is a platform operated by engineers, five guns, and the idea was that the guns were to be fired on this platform. But what wasnt told to us was how the guns were to be put into 'ready' position since the space on the platform itself is so restricted, with any wrong move means either the personnel involved or the guns itself will 'dived' into the water. It was only with two months of trial and error den we come up with the procedure for setting up the gun on the platform.

My battery woke up on 4am for this day. It was a long and sleepy ride from camp to marina since there is a speed limit for vehicle towing the gun. The fun part is that there are 'escorts' to ensure we reach our destination without slowing down. However this means that we slowed down the entire expressway...oh well too bad =p For about 3 hours, preparations were made before we sailed down to marina on the river from our harbouring point on the platform, enjoying the view that most probably no other tourist seaboats were provide. Changed to No.1 uniform for the first, took loads of pictures before we began our show. Honestly i have totally no idea what happened on the platform as i have earplugs on and my back were facing the stage (floating platform). What we did was to fire 5 rounds in sequence before proceeding back to the harbouring point. The shockwave that came whenever one round is fired is not something i look forward to very much -.-, but its really kinda worth experiencing once.

Many more rehearsals to come before the actual day....

requires anti-blur medicine..and give many apologies

2009-06-06T23:40:00.002+08:00

it seems like i have a simple appointment in my battery and yet i made a total flop out of it, oh and probably increase the sourness by many times. my appointment is duty planning, and it involves assigning both specs and men to guard duties and orderly duties. if i plan the duties well, the best case scenario i will get is zero complains. no one will feel grateful for me since im giving them extra work to do or maybe even burn their weekends. if i plan even one duty wrongly, everyone will become my enemy since most probably at least two person will be involved. thats what happened today.

zz.

2009-06-05T22:11:00.002+08:00

One tough week has passed, leaving many tough weeks to go before all the major events are cleared and i get my pink ic. Surprisingly there are much room for reflection despite the hectic times in which includes Why i have chosen to become a freaking underpaid and overworked 3rd sgt and how come the relationships between my normally thot-to-be-good friends turned sour.

seriously many people has told me how awkward the position specialists are in in the saf. they are although above the men but below the officers. officers can play as the good guy in front of the men by trying hard not to tax them too much when they have done some work, thus when there is really extra work needed to be done late at night (due to lack of foresight of some people), specialists will have to do the extra remaining work, as though being a specialist means that they are superhuman. Officers can promise a lot of things, but who will ensure things are actually done in the first place? On the men level, some will not empthatise with the predicament specialists are in when they are tasked with extra work, as they feels that the extra pay (specs have slightly higher pay den men) deems the extra work. Afterall, the more pay you get, the more you should do right? Ya right, den officers should be 24 hour slaves in camp and not be the stay-out personnel they are currently as since their pay is double of that of men.

perhaps its the attitude that is always be in me, but i really hate to be wrongly-faulted for mistakes that i never commit. the biggest bane of myself has always be dumb-stupid-freaking-careless. now im quite man-marked by the battery for dumb mistakes which i really do not want to commit. it has become quite depressing to the point that i have made a resolution to myself, that i will do and complete my work the best i can and i would not care about what others think about me.

bah. procrastinations. lousy entry but yet it must be written.

2009-05-22T22:12:00.002+08:00

First and foremost ~

180509

'Dear Sir/Madam
Congratulations! You have performed well in your driving test. However ......> SKIP<..... A qualified class 3 driving license will be issued to you and we would like to extend a warm welcome to you to the motoring society'

It was like 'hell-ya!' at that point of time. Everything went smoothly and I was like ten times less nervous than the first test. But den given my skill, I should have passed the first time =( . Oh well, the license probably would not make too much difference anyway, as the only change from L plate to P plate is that the instructor's place is taken by my dad. -.-

150509

PAINTBALL AT AMK CAMP

it was everything like field camp training, except that this time instead of firing blanks which only made sound, it replaced by harmless looking pellets that is filled with paint. when shot from a powerful gun within 5 metres, it can probably produced an open wound or a bad bruise. i thought i would own in it (Im supposedly a Marksman, wee!), but den its more of a game of luck as the gun itself is a huge limiting factor since some of the guns is so weak until it have problems hitting targets beyond 5 metres. the importance of staying low is demostrated quite clearly in this game; i merely stand for 3 seconds to adjust aim and i was shot like 4 times?

Getting lost..

2009-04-19T20:56:00.002+08:00

Yes...Im kinda lost in the battle between the scourge and the sentinel nowadays. Waving a sword/bow/fist/wadever, i crushed small monsters for gold and other heroes in order to get the frozen throne......... -.- okay i will stop here. ever since my new lappy arrived to my doorstep, i have fallen back to the old habit of playing online dota games, hoping that it would numb the thoughts of being lost. i mean life can be quite simple if you are just a dota hero, walking around killing enemies for experience and gold. no interperonal stress, no commitments to follow, just endless hours of fun. i know its wrong, but for now just let me be as i ponder upon the next step to follow for my future.

Movie: 17 again
well i thought this would be a flop of a show involving teen idols having supposedly amazing talent in basketball when i saw the intro of the show. it turns out to be a deeper show with some tolerable amount of lame humour. it shows that people should accept the circumstances as of now and try to make the most out of it, rather den having the naive thought of going back in time and changing the events of the past. what one may be trying to get can actually be just right in front of him, just that the events happening around may be clouding the thoughts of that person.

IPPT GOLD
yay 2nd year ippt cleared! 9min 36secs for 2.4km =), with help of daniel as pacer.
maybe i should try and get commando's gold, getting under 9min 14 secs for 2.4km.

Life is still okay in general nowadays. i dun really feel the extreme urge of booking out on fridays nor do i feel the sadness of booking in on sunday. its just getting numb reallly. its not that there is nothing to do, in fact there's tons of admin stuff to be done when i go back. oh wellz.

2009-04-12T01:00:00.002+08:00

FAILED - 26 Points

it just isnt my day.
now i know why people dun really want to talk about their failed results, cuz it really sucks.
and it sucks even more since im so confident that i can pass the test.
i guessed its this over-confidence that caused me to 'change lane abruptly', ignore the surroundings and caused 'danger to cyclist when by-passing'.
strange how some things work...the more confident you are in it, the more prone you will be making mistakes in it.
nvm i can prove them wrong next month, at a cost of two hundred bucks.