Monday, June 29, 2009
Picture taken from CR1, 200609. Featuring gun 5 of the PGS team firing off one blank round.Standstill.....
I think i have stood on the same spot for too long...
While being confused by all the distractions beside me, time has left me standstill and continued its relentless march forward.
yes, a lot of happened to me.
yet, i wonder what has actually changed, what has i actually achieved.
while always complaining about how life is unfair for myself, what has i really learned?
'becoming stronger from losing, yielding even though its unfair, not running away even though its shameful, and overcoming a weak self-confidence over time.....'
9:15 PM
Thursday, June 18, 2009
First ever Presidential Gun Salute on water...
Look out for the pgs on the last one and a half minute of the video!
Yup. Its featured on the news, newspapers, even on the mrbrown show! though the spotlight seems to be more concentrated on my female commanding officer lol. Today is the day when my unit, or rather my battery, made history by firing the PGS on marina waters for ndp. Five shots were fired instead of the full twenty one shots, which is enough to demostrate the coolness of firing the pgs visible to the audience instead of hiding in some grass field somewhere. The glory of it is shown for the Two Minutes plus on the youtube video link on the post. But....behind the scene is Five hours of preparation for the day itself, and Five months of preparation for the whole procedure to be drafted out, carried out, troubleshooted and rehearsed for the show.
The tough part for this year's pgs is not for the performance itself, but rather the process in which the guns are loaded up to the platform, action-fronted and prepared for safety. All we got from the start is a platform operated by engineers, five guns, and the idea was that the guns were to be fired on this platform. But what wasnt told to us was how the guns were to be put into 'ready' position since the space on the platform itself is so restricted, with any wrong move means either the personnel involved or the guns itself will 'dived' into the water. It was only with two months of trial and error den we come up with the procedure for setting up the gun on the platform.
My battery woke up on 4am for this day. It was a long and sleepy ride from camp to marina since there is a speed limit for vehicle towing the gun. The fun part is that there are 'escorts' to ensure we reach our destination without slowing down. However this means that we slowed down the entire expressway...oh well too bad =p For about 3 hours, preparations were made before we sailed down to marina on the river from our harbouring point on the platform, enjoying the view that most probably no other tourist seaboats were provide. Changed to No.1 uniform for the first, took loads of pictures before we began our show. Honestly i have totally no idea what happened on the platform as i have earplugs on and my back were facing the stage (floating platform). What we did was to fire 5 rounds in sequence before proceeding back to the harbouring point. The shockwave that came whenever one round is fired is not something i look forward to very much -.-, but its really kinda worth experiencing once.
Many more rehearsals to come before the actual day....
11:28 PM
Saturday, June 06, 2009
requires anti-blur medicine..and give many apologies
it seems like i have a simple appointment in my battery and yet i made a total flop out of it, oh and probably increase the sourness by many times. my appointment is duty planning, and it involves assigning both specs and men to guard duties and orderly duties. if i plan the duties well, the best case scenario i will get is zero complains. no one will feel grateful for me since im giving them extra work to do or maybe even burn their weekends. if i plan even one duty wrongly, everyone will become my enemy since most probably at least two person will be involved. thats what happened today.zz.
11:40 PM
Friday, June 05, 2009
One tough week has passed, leaving many tough weeks to go before all the major events are cleared and i get my pink ic. Surprisingly there are much room for reflection despite the hectic times in which includes Why i have chosen to become a freaking underpaid and overworked 3rd sgt and how come the relationships between my normally thot-to-be-good friends turned sour.seriously many people has told me how awkward the position specialists are in in the saf. they are although above the men but below the officers. officers can play as the good guy in front of the men by trying hard not to tax them too much when they have done some work, thus when there is really extra work needed to be done late at night (due to lack of foresight of some people), specialists will have to do the extra remaining work, as though being a specialist means that they are superhuman. Officers can promise a lot of things, but who will ensure things are actually done in the first place? On the men level, some will not empthatise with the predicament specialists are in when they are tasked with extra work, as they feels that the extra pay (specs have slightly higher pay den men) deems the extra work. Afterall, the more pay you get, the more you should do right? Ya right, den officers should be 24 hour slaves in camp and not be the stay-out personnel they are currently as since their pay is double of that of men.
perhaps its the attitude that is always be in me, but i really hate to be wrongly-faulted for mistakes that i never commit. the biggest bane of myself has always be dumb-stupid-freaking-careless. now im quite man-marked by the battery for dumb mistakes which i really do not want to commit. it has become quite depressing to the point that i have made a resolution to myself, that i will do and complete my work the best i can and i would not care about what others think about me.
bah. procrastinations. lousy entry but yet it must be written.
10:11 PM
Friday, May 22, 2009
First and foremost ~180509
'Dear Sir/Madam
Congratulations! You have performed well in your driving test. However ......> SKIP<..... A qualified class 3 driving license will be issued to you and we would like to extend a warm welcome to you to the motoring society'
It was like 'hell-ya!' at that point of time. Everything went smoothly and I was like ten times less nervous than the first test. But den given my skill, I should have passed the first time =( . Oh well, the license probably would not make too much difference anyway, as the only change from L plate to P plate is that the instructor's place is taken by my dad. -.-
150509
PAINTBALL AT AMK CAMP
it was everything like field camp training, except that this time instead of firing blanks which only made sound, it replaced by harmless looking pellets that is filled with paint. when shot from a powerful gun within 5 metres, it can probably produced an open wound or a bad bruise. i thought i would own in it (Im supposedly a Marksman, wee!), but den its more of a game of luck as the gun itself is a huge limiting factor since some of the guns is so weak until it have problems hitting targets beyond 5 metres. the importance of staying low is demostrated quite clearly in this game; i merely stand for 3 seconds to adjust aim and i was shot like 4 times?
10:12 PM
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Getting lost..
Yes...Im kinda lost in the battle between the scourge and the sentinel nowadays. Waving a sword/bow/fist/wadever, i crushed small monsters for gold and other heroes in order to get the frozen throne......... -.- okay i will stop here. ever since my new lappy arrived to my doorstep, i have fallen back to the old habit of playing online dota games, hoping that it would numb the thoughts of being lost. i mean life can be quite simple if you are just a dota hero, walking around killing enemies for experience and gold. no interperonal stress, no commitments to follow, just endless hours of fun. i know its wrong, but for now just let me be as i ponder upon the next step to follow for my future.Movie: 17 again
well i thought this would be a flop of a show involving teen idols having supposedly amazing talent in basketball when i saw the intro of the show. it turns out to be a deeper show with some tolerable amount of lame humour. it shows that people should accept the circumstances as of now and try to make the most out of it, rather den having the naive thought of going back in time and changing the events of the past. what one may be trying to get can actually be just right in front of him, just that the events happening around may be clouding the thoughts of that person.
IPPT GOLD
yay 2nd year ippt cleared! 9min 36secs for 2.4km =), with help of daniel as pacer.
maybe i should try and get commando's gold, getting under 9min 14 secs for 2.4km.
Life is still okay in general nowadays. i dun really feel the extreme urge of booking out on fridays nor do i feel the sadness of booking in on sunday. its just getting numb reallly. its not that there is nothing to do, in fact there's tons of admin stuff to be done when i go back. oh wellz.
8:56 PM
Sunday, April 12, 2009
FAILED - 26 Pointsit just isnt my day.
now i know why people dun really want to talk about their failed results, cuz it really sucks.
and it sucks even more since im so confident that i can pass the test.
i guessed its this over-confidence that caused me to 'change lane abruptly', ignore the surroundings and caused 'danger to cyclist when by-passing'.
strange how some things work...the more confident you are in it, the more prone you will be making mistakes in it.
nvm i can prove them wrong next month, at a cost of two hundred bucks.
1:00 AM
Saturday, March 21, 2009
some random stuff of late....close combat training...
'when i blow the whistle, jump from your standing position, extend your legs, slam hard onto the mat using your palms and land with only your palms, elbow and the toes of your feet. ready, go!'
many bodies landed on the mat given by the instructor and some gave genuine shouts of pain. after doing this technique called breakfall for several times in a row, my palms were red, my elbows sore from slaming onto the mat, and my head felt as if someone give me a one times good one. surely thats a less painful way of landing onto the floor when you lose your balance? =.=
firing of weapon..
cant say much, but im probably one of the pioneer batch of people in the world to fire a particular weapon on a particular type of platform. looking forward to the actual day....
i have made some rash purchases lately, with the amount of money involved getting more with every transaction. each of this purchases got a common point; that they dun suit me and are not really needed by me. i really need to make insightful decisions; that is rather den knowing how the product will benefit me, i need to know whether i Need the product.
1:01 AM
Sunday, March 01, 2009
its been some time
since i last sit somewhere and watch raindrops falling from the sky. the sun had just began to set; not that it would have made too much difference as today is a cloudy day. i stared blankly at the scene in front of me, which contains the faculty of medicine and slightly further away in the distance, the distinct two towers of the n-t-u alumni club. cars with headlights turned on drived in and out, people scurrying across the road to avoid the rain were what filled the bottom of the scene.time passes slowly. the scene before me seems to disappear, and come into focused were my thoughts. i thought i have got over with what happened three years ago, with life becoming normal and jc2 as well as training from ns filling the void of my thoughts. but yet, in the predicament i am in now, watching my family around me, i realised nothing has changed. i had simply just been covering that area of thoughts with something else. it pained me to know that they have been going through all the emotional struggles all the while, without me. i have been naive to think i could have got over it. its only time before i will face the real problem myself.
its like a scar formed from a deep wound. you can cover it by wearing long sleeves everyday, but the scar will always be there, stinging.
9:21 PM
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
I love jogging...
...but its bit quite some time since i have to jog under pressure to achieve a certain timing. just on monday i went to run around the camp using the 2.4km route. the run can be described as a mental torture as i tried my best to ignore the electric signals that come from the nerves of my legs and the bursting of my lungs and Instead, have to focus on keeping a constant fast pace. the end result? 10 seconds off gold timing. argh, super cui liaoz.'its kinda a fact of life that people rate you for what you do, especially what you do wrongly, rather than who you are.' Comment on this. pls =)
sounds like a gp question? ya, but thats the question i had this week.
9:21 PM
Sunday, February 22, 2009
today i have the auto-transmission car lesson. when the instructor say that i just have to set go the brake and the car will move by itself when in stationary position, i wanted to say stop kidding, but the car really moved. lol. quite fun la, but i better stick to manual car for the time being and pass my test first.watched k20 today. while the plot was totally retarded, the anime-like speech dialogue and action sequence made everyone in the theatre laughing. basically the main character (takeshi) will never die no matter what, kinda like naruto, and many other characters are also behaving in the anime-like stupid way and expression. one sentence i still remembered though, and it wasnt funny. 'you just stand in your safety position to try to give help. i hate hypocrites like you!'
meeting up with sm and julie...well i kinda thought that since we havent met for such a long time, their habit of lateness might change. maybe not. haha. it kinda becomes a lecture for me about different types of mascara, what kind of methods skin products company will do in order to attract girls to spend money on them etc etc. saw a few nice items though....
10:01 PM
Saturday, February 21, 2009
why cant life be simpler?
i wished i can just blog in a way such that i can express my views accurately, using real terms etc, but den im sure some spy from the top who have too much free time will be able to somehow find my blog and charged me for exposing 'secrets'. oh well. i shall address issues in principle aspects den, while not refering to anyone. don't understand what im talking about? its okay, just continue to read the next paragraph.rule of thumb that i have learn during this busy and probably the lousiest week of my life:
1) when someone thinks im at fault, never try to explain too much,
either just say 'yes' or 'no', or even better, give a solution so that the fault can be addressed. especially to those who are big, or those who Thinks they are big. explanation will only appear as excuses to them. i understand myself as someone who wans to explain himself but cant explain clearly enough, so its better if i just shut up.
2) if i wan to do something, either do it all the way or not at all.
quite self-explanatory. i realised i don't have 'emergency signal' in my head, that is, if something is needed to be done, i would do it with a effort i usually give with all things, emergency or not. perseverance and mental strength is kinda lacking in me. shagged or not, sweating or dirty, think through things calmly, find a solution from there and focus on the matter at hand.
3) true friends help out during real times of emergency, so really appreciate and cherish them.
without them, i would have probably kena more punishments.
4) ask instructions from the highest command to prevent contradictions.
this's important especially for the military context. rank is kinda almost everything, even though i know it isnt, but still to prevent more trouble for myself, this is probably what i should do.
about the expired item that i have failed to check, all i can say to defend myself is that i didn't know i have to open the box and check the contents, thus have no way of knowing that the thing has expired. if i get punishment, it can only be unluckyness, not the lack of responsibility, so my conscience is clear.
sometimes i feel that im standing and swaying on the line between good and bad. the problem is i dunno which side im closer to now. change is the only constant, but if only i can know what are the good change and what are the bad change.
11:46 PM
Thursday, February 19, 2009
a peephole to the real world...
sometimes i cant help but feel the army environment in a functional unit is a prelude to what's to come when i enter the real working environment out there. my battery commander perform the same roles as a manager, my commanding-officer is probably the manager of all managers (forgot the term), and COA is probably the CEO etc etc. we have five day work week, free time after six, and we even have 14 days of leave per year.some of the above statement can be argued, as some believe that Some senior army commanders are simply not as efficient or capable as real world managers, given that they are let loose to the real world, surely will they not survive. these opinions are contestable, and my only opinion is that while some are really @#$%^&*()_, other commanders, especially scholars and high-flyers, are really good leaders that we as junior commanders can emulate.
after spending three months in my unit, i could not help but observe the changes that some of my fellow trainees has undergone since becoming a 3sgt. one of my friends, who is usually quite smart and hardworking during trainee days, has became a valuable asset in my battery by always constantly being available to give help and get important work done using connections and his efficiency. however there are also some who think they have become someone great or as we coined it 'big fark'. those are the ones who order people around, push personal duties to other people, making excuses for everything etc etc. office politics has become the norm, with people pushing work to be done from one battery to the other battery, people whispering conspiciously during the dark plotting things... argh. and the thing that bothers me is that this is only the start of our working life and people can become so corrupted. in the real working environment, there will again be people who will be already deeply-ingrained with such corrupt-ness, so how to deal with them?
questions unanswered......
9:06 PM
Sunday, February 15, 2009
today was quite fun and interesting, though i have a feeling i have offended some and let down some.thanks for bringing me there..
1:01 AM
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
hectic life..
tuesday was a freaking hell of a day.phonecalls freak me out for the whole 15 hours plus that i was in the office, my men pestering me about guard duty forcasts, having a 'extremely motivated' duty officer that insists on every single rules and regulations, lastly settling my gun's signal and data communications on my own as my gun commander is not around to help me. oh and plus one more morning 3.6km run everyday from monday to friday.
i never expect life to be so hectic after they came back from new zealand. now i have a phobia of the constantly-ringing telephone.
even worse, the senior batch of specialists that is exactly one year older den me come into the office waving their pink ICs in front of our noses and saying the infamous statement 'ORD LOH!'. not the i have any qualms with that as i would most probably do that when its my turn to ord, but it just sucks to know that i would have to suck it for one more year.
'enjoy army, make buddies, make full use of the time to improve.' i told myself.
trying hard.
9:06 PM
Sunday, February 08, 2009
the good old days...
"now kids, what do you have to do before you eat?"*silence.
'sing birthday song?'
"no its to WASH YOUR HANDS!"
........
musical chairs, saying Thank Yous loudly, having happy meals in macdonalds seemed like activities done so long ago during childhood times. hey but wait, didn't this happened three days ago?
happy 20th yuxin~.
-------------------
rise of the lycans reminds me of some epic movie reminiscence of LOTR in which the characters spoke complex english for simple phrases. im sure the m18 rating is not because of the semi-nude scenes that happened halfway into the movie, but because of the amazing amount of blood, gore, heads tearing out of bodies with an amazing splash of dark red cocktail....
nowadays when i made silent promises to myself, i did not fulfil it even though the pre-requsities have been met surprisingly (or isit fate?). why cant i force myself to have the knack of grabbing opportunities?
9:32 PM
Friday, February 06, 2009
so much, yet so little
actually there are a lots of things to blog about, but a sudden interruption knocked all my thoughts haywired..1:50 AM
Sunday, February 01, 2009
A nice weekend, perhaps?Anne hathaway's eyes looked kinda too big. okay, sorry for my randomness.
but bride wars is really quite interesting, perhaps another perspective about marriage + friendships and the fun and dirty parts about it.
getting dirty and oily with charcoal and butter was quite fulfiling during the bbq, but the best part about saturday evening was the pure fun and enjoyment of running around west coast park trying to make a kite fly, and swinging from platform to platform using the kids version of flying fox. i havent experienced that kind of enjoyment for quite a long time already.
regarding the message, well, i was quite sure morally, that person is wrong in doing that. it seems like a cowardly way out for a solution. but of cuz im dun face the situation, so i just cant assume anything. kinda makes me wonder what kind of reaction i will have if what's happened to him happen to me...to tell ya the truth, i don't know.
thanks for the cookies =)
9:32 PM
Thursday, January 29, 2009
sometimes i feel that living in peace may not be a good thing after all.... when the time comes that requires one to defend itself, it may not have the capabilities to. kinda like a zero-resistance bacteria strain that havent seen any antibiotics before for a lot of generations -.-dare to confront problems, head-on, perhaps that will make life a lot more interesting.
1:49 AM
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
gosh if there is ever such a group called 'The Non-initiaters', i think i will be the honourary member of that group.i wonder if there is anything i can do before that person leaves..